What really builds confidence in daughters—and are we modeling it the right way?

In this honest and relatable episode of Her Unshakeable Confidence, Simone and Olivia Knego dive into the realities of raising confident daughters—from childhood to teenage years and into adulthood. They explore how confidence goes far beyond appearance, why modeling behavior matters more than what we say, and how open, judgment-free communication creates lasting trust.

Through real-life stories and candid conversations about peer pressure, friendships, relationships, and mistakes, they highlight the importance of giving kids space while still being their safe place. This episode is a powerful reminder that confidence is built through connection, honesty, and allowing kids to learn while knowing they are always supported.

Actionable Takeaways

Model the behavior you want your kids to mirror—confidence starts with you.
Focus on building confidence beyond appearance and external validation.
Create open and honest conversations, even when they feel uncomfortable.
Give your kids space to grow while remaining a safe place they can return to.
Teach self-respect early so they can make better decisions under pressure.
Avoid judging your kids—they are already judging themselves.
Normalize mistakes as part of growth and learning at every age.

Chapters

00:00 – Raising Confident Daughters Starts With You
03:45 – Confidence Beyond Looks and Social Pressure
07:10 – Modeling Behavior and Breaking Bad Habits
10:30 – Honest Conversations and Teaching Values
14:05 – Navigating the Teenage Years and Giving Space
18:20 – Peer Pressure, Drinking, and Real-Life Decisions
22:45 – Friendships, Relationships, and Red Flags
26:30 – Letting Go, Growing Up, and Finding Your People
29:15 – Final Thoughts: Don’t Judge Your Kids

Connect with Us

Don’t forget to subscribe to Her Unshakeable Confidence for more empowering stories and actionable insights. Leave us a review, share your favorite moments, and tag us on social media!

Take our new QUIZ and discover what’s really holding you back and how to break free.

Subscribe to our exclusive email list and receive our downloadable, FREE GUIDE. This guide, Positive Affirmations to Live Life Authentically, can contribute to a life transformation.

Click HERE to get your copy!

Pre-Order Simone’s New Book 

REAL Confidence A Simple Guide to Go from Unsure to Unshakeable

Order Simone’s The Extraordinary UnOrdinary You Book

Connect with Simone Knego:

• Instagram: @simoneknego
• Facebook: @speakersimoneknego
• LinkedIn: simoneknego
• Website: www.simoneknego.com
• Book a free call with Simone

Connect with Olivia Knego:

• Instagram: @oliviaknego
• LinkedIn: oliviaknego

Looking for more?

Visit Our Etsy Shop: theunshakeablestudio

Check out our inspirational mugs, shirts, and more at The Unshakeable Studio. These items are filled with gratitude and designed to inspire personal transformation in one’s life.

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The post Raising Confident Daughters: Honest Parenting Advice Every Mom Needs appeared first on Simone Knego.

This weekend, I got to celebrate something that still feels a little surreal. My oldest son is about to become a dad.

He’s 29 now, and he and his wife are expecting a baby boy in June. Even writing that feels strange, in the best way. Because in my mind, I can still see him as this little boy running around the house, asking a million questions, needing me for everything. I can still picture the toys on the floor, the bedtime routines, the constant pull of being needed.

And now, he’s about to have someone who will need him in that same way.

There’s something about watching your child become a parent that stops you in your tracks. It’s one of those parenting milestones that nobody really warns you about, the ones that happen to you as the mom, not just to your kids.

Celebrating Life’s Milestones Together

We had his baby shower this weekend. Family came in. Friends showed up. There was laughter, stories, and that feeling of everyone coming together to celebrate the parents to be.

It felt slower in a good way. People stayed in conversations. There was time to actually see each other, not pass by and move on. It felt intentional without anyone trying too hard to make it that way.

And I found myself stepping back and watching.

Watching my son move through the room. Watching his wife, calm and steady. Watching friends and family who have known him since he was little now showing up to celebrate the man he’s become.

It felt layered. And it reminded me of something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately: the moments that matter most are usually the ones where we put everything else down and just show up. (If you’ve ever tried putting your phone away for a whole dinner and felt how different it makes everything, you already know what I mean.)

A Full Circle Moment You Don’t See Coming

But there was one moment that really stayed with me.

Jacob’s second grade teacher came to the shower. She brought a Valentine’s card that Jacob had given her when he was seven years old. She had kept it all this time. And now here he was, about to become a father, holding something he had written as a little boy.

That moment felt like everything came full circle.

Because you don’t think about those small things when you’re in them. You don’t realize that a simple card, something done in a classroom on an ordinary day, could come back decades later and mean something entirely different.

You’re living your life. Packing lunches. Getting kids out the door. Answering questions. Moving through the day.

And yet, those small moments stay. They come back. They remind you. The everyday parenting moments you barely register at the time? Those are the ones that turn into full circle stories years later.

What It’s Like to Become a Parent Young

I got married at 21. I had Jacob at 24.

I was young, and I knew it. I always say I was a kid having a kid, and I mean that in the most honest way. I didn’t have everything figured out. There was excitement, but there was also uncertainty. I was learning as I went.

There was no perfect plan. No sense that I had it all together. Just a willingness to step into it and figure it out along the way.

Looking at him now, it feels different. He’s steady. Grounded. There’s a calm confidence in the way he shows up that I don’t remember having at that stage. And watching that has been incredible. Not because he’s doing it perfectly, but because he’s doing it in a way that fits him.

Building Something Strong Together

And then there’s his wife.

She’s amazing. Calm, organized, and composed in a way that you can feel. She brings a steadiness that balances everything out. She’s thoughtful and intentional, and it shows in how she moves through this season.

Watching the two of them together, you can see it. They complement each other. They support each other. They’re building something strong. And that matters.

Why Being Present Is the Real Parenting Milestone

As much as this weekend was about celebrating them, it became something else for me too. A reminder.

Because life gets busy. There’s always something to do, something to answer, somewhere to be. It’s easy to move from one thing to the next without really stopping. It’s easy to be physically present but mentally somewhere else.

This weekend, I made a different choice.

I turned everything off. The emails could wait. The to do list could wait. Everything could wait.

And I let myself be there. Fully present for the conversations; Fully present for the laughter; Fully present for the quiet moments in between when you look around and realize this is what matters.

This is it.

The truth is, being present isn’t just a feel good concept. It’s something we actively have to choose, especially when we’re in a season of life that keeps pulling our attention in every direction. And for those of us who are deep in the years of building careers, raising families, and trying to figure out what we actually want for ourselves, that choice gets even harder and more important.

How Fast Life Really Moves

I’ve been married for almost 33 years. And somehow, it still feels like it went by in a blink.

Because it did.

Even with everything that filled those years. Even with all the moments that felt long at the time. It still went fast. Faster than you think it will when you’re in the middle of it.

You think you have more time.

We tell ourselves we’ll slow down when things calm down. When there’s less to do. When life isn’t so full. But life is always full.

So the pause has to be a choice. It has to be something you decide to do, even when it feels inconvenient. Even when your instinct is to keep going.

Because the moments you think you’ll remember are often the ones you miss when you’re not fully there. And the moments you slow down for, the ones you actually feel, those are the ones that stay with you.

Choose Presence Before the Moment Passes

There are parenting milestones we see coming from a mile away, first steps, graduation, the wedding day. And then there are the ones that sneak up on you. Watching your child become a parent is one of those.

Being present isn’t about having more time. It’s about choosing to be where you are. Fully.

So if life feels busy right now, if you’re moving fast and telling yourself you’ll slow down later, consider this your reminder.

Pause when you can. Enjoy the moments. Because you won’t get them back.

The small moments you barely notice today? They’re the ones your kids will carry with them for decades. And someday, they just might bring one back to you.

Simone Knego is a confidence coach, international keynote speaker, and USA Today bestselling author of REAL Confidence: A Simple Guide to Go from Unsure to Unshakeable. She’s also the cohost of the globally ranked podcast Her Unshakeable Confidence with her daughter Olivia.

The post Watching Your Child Become a Parent: A Parenting Milestone That Changes Everything appeared first on Simone Knego.

What if confidence isn’t something you’re born with — but something you earn through the hardest seasons of your life?

In this powerful episode of Her Unshakeable Confidence, Simone and Olivia sit down with Emily Kendel — aesthetic business coach, founder of Spa Project, and former celebrity makeup artist. They unpack her extraordinary journey from growing up in poverty to building and selling a successful med spa.

Emily opens up about breaking generational cycles, navigating two divorces, raising five children, and facing her youngest daughter’s devastating prenatal diagnosis of spina bifida. Additionally, she shares how faith, curiosity, resilience, and taking action — even when she didn’t feel ready — shaped the confident woman and business leader she is today.

They also dive into the realities of running a med spa, the chaos of wearing every hat as a business owner, and why most entrepreneurs struggle. Often, it is not because they lack talent — but because they lack systems.

If you’ve ever questioned your identity, struggled to balance ambition and motherhood, or felt like you had to be confident before taking the leap — this episode will remind you that confidence is the reward for courage.

Actionable Takeaways

Confidence Is a Result, Not a Requirement:
You don’t need confidence to start — you gain confidence by taking action through difficult moments.

Focus Before You Expand:
In business, more services don’t equal more success. Master your fundamentals before scaling.

Know Your Numbers:
Revenue means nothing without profit. Understanding cash flow, pricing, and expenses is critical to sustainability.

Systems Create Freedom:
If you want to scale or build a team, every step of your client experience must be documented and repeatable.

Align with Your Values:
When your decisions reflect your core values — in motherhood, marriage, and business — peace and clarity follow.

Your Kids Are Only Little Once:
Ambition matters, but presence matters too. Build a life you won’t regret looking back on.

Chapters

00:00 — Introduction
02:10 — Growing Up Poor & Finding Identity Through Looks
07:45 — From Aesthetician to Celebrity Makeup Artist
15:02 — Breaking Cycles & Becoming a Young Single Mom
20:10 — A Prenatal Diagnosis & Open Fetal Surgery
27:35 — Losing Identity in Motherhood
32:40 — The Chaos of Running a Med Spa
42:50 — Why Systems Matter in Service Businesses
43:07 — What Confidence Really Means
44:38 — The Best Advice Emily Ever Received

About Emily Kendel

Emily Kendel is a highly experienced aesthetic business coach, consultant, speaker, and founder of Spa Project — an aesthetics training program and community for med spa owners.

With over two decades in the beauty industry, Emily began as a licensed aesthetician before becoming a celebrity makeup artist for television and film. She worked with high-profile talent including Morgan Freeman.

After building and scaling her own med spa from the ground up, Emily discovered her true passion. She now helps service-provider-owned medical spas make strategic decisions, understand their numbers, implement systems, and build profitable, sustainable businesses.

Her work now focuses on guiding overwhelmed med spa owners through three core phases — mastering operations and finances, strengthening sales and communication, and scaling through strategic marketing.

Beyond business, Emily is a mother of five who believes curiosity, faith, and courageous action are the true foundations of unshakeable confidence.

Connect with Emily Kendel:

Facebook Group: Emily Kendel LinkedIn: Emily Kendel Instagram: @emilykendel Website: spaproject.com

Connect with Us

Don’t forget to subscribe to Her Unshakeable Confidence for more empowering stories and actionable insights. Leave us a review, share your favorite moments, and tag us on social media!

Take our new QUIZ and discover what’s really holding you back and how to break free.

Subscribe to our exclusive email list and receive our downloadable, FREE GUIDE. This guide, Positive Affirmations to Live Life Authentically, can contribute to a life transformation.

Click HERE to get your copy!

Pre-Order Simone’s New Book 

REAL Confidence A Simple Guide to Go from Unsure to Unshakeable

Order Simone’s The Extraordinary UnOrdinary You Book

Connect with Simone Knego:

• Instagram: @simoneknego
• Facebook: @speakersimoneknego
• LinkedIn: simoneknego
• Website: www.simoneknego.com
• Book a free call with Simone

Connect with Olivia Knego:

• Instagram: @oliviaknego
• LinkedIn: oliviaknego

Looking for more?

Visit Our Etsy Shop: theunshakeablestudio

Check out our inspirational mugs, shirts, and more at The Unshakeable Studio. These items are filled with gratitude and designed to inspire personal transformation in one’s life.

Listen to Episode on:

The post Aesthetic Industry: From Tech to Top CEO! appeared first on Simone Knego.

Stress gets a bad reputation. We talk about it like it’s something we should avoid or fix, like if we could just get everything under control, we’d finally feel calm, confident, and steady. But that’s not how it works. If you’re doing anything meaningful, anything that stretches you or matters to you, stress is going to show up. That doesn’t mean something is wrong. It usually means something matters.

What we don’t talk about enough is what happens next. Because stress itself isn’t the issue. The real difference comes from how you respond to stress, especially in the moments when it counts.

What Stress Really Is

Most people think stress comes from what’s happening around them, the deadline, the pressure, the conversation they’ve been avoiding. And while those things are real, stress is also about what’s happening inside of you at the same time. Two people can walk into the exact same situation and experience it completely differently. One shuts down while the other leans in. It’s not because one is more capable. It’s because of the story running in their head.

That story didn’t start in that moment. It’s been building over time through past experiences, expectations, and the way we’ve learned to talk to ourselves. If your default is self doubt, stress will amplify it. If your default is self trust, stress will still feel uncomfortable, but it won’t stop you. That’s why learning how to respond to stress is one of the most important skills you can build.

It’s also a big part of building confidence in real time, which I talk about more in how to build real confidence from the inside out (https://simoneknego.com/how-to-build-real-confidence-from-the-inside-out/). Confidence isn’t built in perfect conditions. It’s built in moments like these.

The Moment Most People Miss

There’s a moment in every stressful situation that most people miss. I’ve felt it standing right outside a room before a talk, holding my notes, rereading the same line again and again. Not because I didn’t know what I wanted to say, but because that voice had gotten loud.

I call it the what if whisperer. It shows up right when things start to matter. What if you lose your place? What if they don’t connect? What if you’re not as good as they think you are? Nothing had actually gone wrong, but my mind was already trying to take over.

That’s the moment I’m talking about, the one right before you react. Most of us move through it so fast we don’t even realize it’s there, and we fall into old patterns like overthinking, doubting, or holding back just enough to feel safe. That’s when stress turns into overwhelm. But if you catch that moment, even briefly, something shifts. You create space between what you’re feeling and what you do next, and in that space, you get to decide how you want to show up.

Not perfectly. Just more intentionally.

The Voice That Shows Up Under Pressure

That voice doesn’t only show up in big moments. It shows up in everyday situations too, before you send an email, before you speak up in a meeting, before you try something new. The what if whisperer is consistent, and if you’re not paying attention, it becomes convincing.

It sounds like it’s trying to protect you, but most of the time it’s just trying to keep you comfortable. It tells you to wait, to hold back, to play it safe. And over time, those small decisions shape how you show up everywhere. Not all at once, but gradually.

That’s why the relationship you have with yourself matters so much. It directly impacts how you respond to stress and pressure in your daily life. I wrote more about this in why love and self love are intertwined (https://simoneknego.com/why-love-and-self-love-are-intertwined/), because how you treat yourself shows up in every one of these moments.

Stress Reveals Patterns, It Doesn’t Define You

Stress has a way of revealing patterns. It shows you how you think when things feel uncertain, what you believe about yourself when it counts, and where your mind tends to go when things feel uncomfortable.

That can feel frustrating, especially when you notice yourself repeating the same reactions. But it’s also useful. Because once you see the pattern, you can start to change it.

You can catch yourself earlier. You can notice the thoughts that aren’t helping you. You can pause before the reaction takes over. That awareness doesn’t eliminate stress, but it gives you more control over how you respond to stress.

How to Respond to Stress in Real Time

You don’t need to completely change your life to handle stress better. You just need to start noticing what’s happening in the moment. Instead of immediately believing the thought, pause and question it. Instead of assuming you’re not ready, ask what you actually need.

Instead of shutting down, take one small step forward. Start there. That’s enough.

One of the biggest shifts comes from how you talk to yourself. Most of us wouldn’t speak to someone we care about the way we speak to ourselves under pressure. But internally, that’s often the default. Changing that doesn’t mean pretending everything is fine. It means choosing to support yourself while you figure it out.

Why Taking Action Reduces Stress

When stress builds, it’s easy to wait until you feel more ready, more confident, or more certain. But that feeling rarely comes first. Action does.

Even a small step forward interrupts the cycle of overthinking and creates momentum. That momentum builds confidence, not because the stress disappears, but because you’re proving to yourself that you can move through it.

I see this all the time, not just in big moments, but in the everyday ones. The email you keep rewriting but never send. The conversation you keep putting off. The idea you keep thinking about but haven’t acted on yet. It’s not that you don’t know what to do. It’s that the what if whisperer has convinced you to wait just a little longer.

But waiting rarely makes it easier. It usually just makes it heavier.

This is also what I mean when I talk about living without limits (https://simoneknego.com/live-without-limits/). It’s not about doing something extreme. It’s about choosing to move forward, even when it feels uncomfortable.

Stress and Growth Go Together

If you look back at the moments that have shaped you the most, they probably weren’t the easy ones. They were the ones that stretched you, challenged you, and pushed you to grow.

Stress was part of those moments. Not because something was wrong, but because something mattered. That’s an important shift.

Stress often shows up right before something meaningful, whether it’s a new opportunity, a difficult conversation, or a decision that requires courage. Your response in that moment matters more than the stress itself.

A Better Question to Ask Yourself

Instead of asking how to get rid of stress, ask a different question. What is this moment asking of me.

Sometimes it’s asking you to step up. Sometimes it’s asking you to trust yourself. Sometimes it’s asking you to take action before you feel fully ready.

The what if whisperer doesn’t go away. You just get better at not listening to it.

The Takeaway

Stress isn’t going anywhere, but your response can change. You can pause, notice what’s happening, shift how you talk to yourself, and take action even when it feels uncomfortable.

Over time, those small choices build something powerful. Trust in yourself, resilience, and real confidence that doesn’t depend on everything going perfectly.

Ready to Build Real Confidence?

If this resonates with you and you want a practical way to apply it in your life, you can learn more here:

https://realconfidencebook.com

The post How You Respond to Stress Changes Everything appeared first on Simone Knego.

Ever feel like life’s obligations are taking over your joy?

In this episode of Her Unshakeable Confidence, Simone and Olivia Knego explore how to step back, ask yourself what you truly want, and prioritize the moments that light you up. From juggling busy schedules and family chaos to finding joy in simple pleasures like sunny days and meaningful outings, they discuss how reclaiming your time and celebrating the small wins can boost your confidence and sense of fulfillment.

Actionable Takeaways

• Ask yourself what you truly want before saying yes to obligations.
• Prioritize rest and sleep—it fuels confidence and clarity.
• Celebrate small joys and wins in your daily life.
• Enjoy moments with friends and loved ones without overthinking societal pressures.
• Embrace spontaneity and seek experiences that energize you.
• Recognize how sunlight, seasonal changes, and environment impact your mood and productivity.

Chapters

00:00 – Finding Time for What You Really Want
11:04 – Saying No to Obligations and Overcommitment
13:35 – Planning Fun Experiences and Celebrating Life
16:35 – The Power of Rest and Doing Nothing
17:26 – Seasonal Joy: Sunlight, Mood, and Energy
20:04 – The History and Impact of Daylight Savings
21:30 – Light, Motivation, and Productivity
27:39 – Weather, Tornadoes, and Life’s Chaos
29:42 – Celebrating Life Amidst Challenges

Connect with Us

Don’t forget to subscribe to Her Unshakeable Confidence for more empowering stories and actionable insights. Leave us a review, share your favorite moments, and tag us on social media!

Take our new QUIZ and discover what’s really holding you back and how to break free.

Subscribe to our exclusive email list and receive our downloadable, FREE GUIDE. This guide, Positive Affirmations to Live Life Authentically, can contribute to a life transformation.

Click HERE to get your copy!

Pre-Order Simone’s New Book 

REAL Confidence A Simple Guide to Go from Unsure to Unshakeable

Order Simone’s The Extraordinary UnOrdinary You Book

Connect with Simone Knego:

• Instagram: @simoneknego
• Facebook: @speakersimoneknego
• LinkedIn: simoneknego
• Website: www.simoneknego.com
• Book a free call with Simone

Connect with Olivia Knego:

• Instagram: @oliviaknego
• LinkedIn: oliviaknego

Looking for more?

Visit Our Etsy Shop: theunshakeablestudio

Check out our inspirational mugs, shirts, and more at The Unshakeable Studio. These items are filled with gratitude and designed to inspire personal transformation in one’s life.

Listen to Episode on:

The post The Secret to Saying No and Enjoying Life More appeared first on Simone Knego.

Have you ever shared something you were excited about, only to watch the reaction slowly drain the excitement out of the room?

Maybe you told someone about a goal you were thinking about pursuing. Maybe you shared an idea that had been sitting in the back of your mind for a while. It could have been something new you wanted to try, something that felt exciting but also a little intimidating.

Instead of encouragement, you heard questions like:

“Are you sure that’s realistic?”
“Do you really think that will work?”
“Is that a good idea?”

Sometimes the response is even more subtle. A raised eyebrow. A pause before someone answers. A comment that sounds supportive on the surface but carries a quiet warning underneath it.

“Just be careful.”

Moments like these happen all the time, and most of us brush them off without giving them much thought. But over time, reactions like this begin to shape how we see ourselves and what we believe is possible.

The truth is that the people we surround ourselves with have a powerful influence on our confidence. When you surround yourself with positive people who believe in you, your goals start to feel possible. When you spend too much time around negative voices, doubt slowly creeps in.

Eventually those outside voices become the voice inside your own head.

How the People Around You Shape Your Confidence

Confidence rarely disappears overnight. Most of the time it fades slowly.

It might start with a skeptical comment from someone you respect. It could be a friend who questions whether your idea will work. Sometimes it is simply someone sharing their opinion about why something might be difficult or unrealistic.

Most people do not intend to be discouraging. They often believe they are being practical or realistic. In many cases they are simply projecting their own fears and limitations onto your situation.

But when you hear enough doubt, something begins to shift. You start questioning yourself before you even take the first step. You begin second guessing your ideas or wondering whether your goals are unrealistic.

Instead of focusing on what you want, you begin thinking about what other people expect.

That is why learning to surround yourself with positive people is so important. The right people remind you of what you are capable of. They help you see possibilities instead of limitations.

The Difference Between Supportive People and Negative People

Not everyone who questions you is trying to hold you back. Sometimes supportive people ask thoughtful questions that help you think things through.

The difference usually comes down to intent.

Supportive people want you to succeed. They might ask how you plan to approach something or what steps you are taking to reach your goal. Their questions come from a place of belief and encouragement.

Negative people approach things differently. Their questions often assume failure before you even begin. They focus on everything that might go wrong and highlight the risks instead of the opportunities.

Instead of saying, “That sounds exciting, tell me more,” they respond with, “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

Over time, these small differences in language have a powerful effect. Confidence spreads through encouragement, while doubt spreads through criticism. The more time you spend around supportive people, the easier it becomes to believe in your own ability to move forward.

When Other People’s Limits Become Your Limits

Years ago, when I decided to climb Mount Kilimanjaro, I expected the physical challenge. I knew the altitude would be difficult and that the climb would push me further than I had ever gone before.

What surprised me was how many people questioned whether I should even try.

One person asked me, “Do you really think you’re going to make it to the top?”

I remember thinking, Really? That’s the question?

No, I thought I would make it halfway. That’s why I signed up.

Another person said, “You’re leaving your kids for two weeks? Don’t you think that’s selfish?”

That comment stuck with me for a while. When someone frames a personal goal as selfish, it forces you to defend something that should not require defending.

Taking care of yourself is not selfish. Challenging yourself is not selfish. Pursuing something meaningful is not selfish.

But when people project their own fears onto your choices, it can make you question whether you should move forward at all. That is how other people’s limitations slowly become our own if we allow them to.

Why Your Inner Circle Matters More Than You Think

This dynamic often begins much earlier in life than we realize. Think about kids in school. There are always a few voices that seem to dictate what is acceptable, what you should wear, what you should like, and who you should spend time with.

Slowly, kids begin changing themselves just to fit in.

The pressure to be accepted is powerful. No one wants to feel excluded. What is interesting is how often we carry that same behavior into adulthood.

Instead of playground dynamics, we deal with social expectations. Instead of bullies, we encounter critics. Instead of worrying about fitting in at school, we worry about fitting in with coworkers, friends, or even family members.

We hesitate before sharing ideas that might sound bold. We hold back from pursuing opportunities that excite us. We start organizing our decisions around how other people might react.

But the reality is simple. No matter what you do in life, someone will always have an opinion. The key is deciding how much influence those opinions will have over your choices.

How to Surround Yourself With Positive People

One of the most powerful things you can do for your confidence is become intentional about your inner circle. Surrounding yourself with positive people does not mean avoiding every difficult conversation or cutting off everyone who disagrees with you. It simply means paying attention to how people affect your mindset.

Start by noticing how you feel after spending time with someone. Do you feel encouraged and energized, or do you feel smaller and unsure of yourself?

Limit the influence of people who consistently focus on negativity or criticism. You do not have to share every dream or goal with everyone. Sometimes protecting your confidence means being selective about who gets to hear your ideas in the early stages.

At the same time, make an effort to spend more time with supportive people who believe in growth, possibility, and encouragement. These are the people who remind you that progress is possible, even when the path is uncertain.

Over time, surrounding yourself with positive influences can change the way you see your own potential.

Be the Positive Voice in Someone Else’s Life

There is another important part of this conversation. We are not only influenced by the people around us, we are also one of those voices for someone else.

Every time someone shares a dream, an idea, or a goal with us, we have a choice in how we respond. We can question their ability, or we can encourage their courage.

We can focus on the risk, or we can focus on the possibility.

You never know when a single comment might determine whether someone moves forward or holds themselves back. The world already has plenty of people predicting failure. What it needs more of are people who believe in each other.

Climbing Kilimanjaro was one of the hardest things I have ever done. The altitude was exhausting, the nights were freezing, and there were moments when every step forward felt like work.

But the most important lesson from that experience had nothing to do with the mountain itself. It had everything to do with the voices surrounding it.

Some people doubted whether I should try. Others believed I could do it. And when the climb became difficult, it was not the skeptical voices that kept me moving forward.

It was the supportive ones.

Life will always present you with mountains to climb. Surround yourself with positive people who remind you that you are capable of reaching the top.

If you want to learn more about building real confidence from the inside out, you can find more resources at realconfidencebook.com.

The post Why You Should Surround Yourself With Positive People appeared first on Simone Knego.

Ever wonder how to help teens and tweens build confidence while navigating judgment, social media, and anxiety? In this episode of Her Unshakeable Confidence, Simone and Olivia Knego sit down with Leslie Randolph — a confidence coach for girls — to explore how self-confidence is cultivated from childhood into adulthood.

Leslie shares practical strategies to help young people shift from self-doubt to self-belief, manage anxiety, and take courageous action even when fear is present. From journaling exercises to fostering gratitude, using the “bestie brain” to counter negative self-talk, and embracing uncomfortable conversations, this episode is full of actionable advice for both parents and teens.

If you’ve ever struggled with comparison, perfectionism, or anxiety, this conversation is a roadmap for creating resilience, self-love, and confidence that lasts a lifetime.

Actionable Takeaways

• Start With Gratitude: When self-love feels impossible, gratitude can bridge the gap from negative self-talk to neutrality and appreciation.
• Use the Bestie Brain: Replace harsh self-criticism with the voice of your own best friend to build self-trust and confidence.
• Practice Courageous Action: Confidence isn’t absence of fear — it’s taking action in spite of fear and anxiety.
• Mindfulness and Coping Tools: Deep breathing, grounding exercises, and preparation help manage anxiety before it takes over.
• Parenting With Love and Honesty: Cheer kids on, acknowledge effort over perfection, and provide guidance while modeling self-confidence.

Chapters

00:00 — Introduction
01:15 — Understanding Self-Confidence in Kids and Teens
07:05 — Outsourcing Worth: How Teens Look for External Validation
14:00 — Social Media, Comparison, and Perfectionism
19:00 — Managing Anxiety: Mindset, Coping Tools, and Preparation
27:00 — Journaling and Gratitude as Confidence Practices
33:30 — Teaching Teens to Take Courageous Action
40:00 — Bestie Brain vs. Bully Brain: Rewriting Self-Talk
44:30 — Leslie’s Definition of Confidence and Key Life Lessons
47:00 — Final Thoughts: Taking Action and Loving Yourself

About Leslie Randolph

Leslie Randolph is a confidence coach for girls, helping tweens, teens, and young adults develop self-confidence, resilience, and emotional intelligence. Through her coaching, Leslie teaches practical strategies to replace negative self-talk with empowering affirmations, manage anxiety, and take courageous action. She works directly with families and provides guidance for parents to support their children in building lifelong confidence.

Connect with Leslie Randolph:

• Website: confidencecoachforgirls.com
• Podcast: Why Didn’t They Tell Us 
• Social: The Coach Chronicles

Connect with Us

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REAL Confidence A Simple Guide to Go from Unsure to Unshakeable

Order Simone’s The Extraordinary UnOrdinary You Book

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The post Empowering Teens to Defeat Negative Self-Talk! appeared first on Simone Knego.

Have you ever made a decision and then replayed it in your mind for hours?

Maybe you sent a text and immediately wondered whether it sounded strange. Maybe you said no to something and started feeling guilty. Maybe you knew what you wanted, but the second you chose it, doubt rushed in.

That’s what second-guessing feels like. It’s draining, frustrating, and often hard to explain. On the outside, everything can look fine. On the inside, every choice feels shaky.

Self-trust changes that.

When self-trust is strong, decisions feel cleaner. There’s less spiraling, less overthinking, and less need for constant reassurance. Mistakes still happen, awkward moments still happen, uncertainty still shows up, but everything feels more manageable.

Self-trust isn’t instant. It’s built over time through small moments of honesty, follow-through, and self-respect.

If you’ve been second-guessing yourself lately, this is a pattern that can shift. And it usually starts in quieter ways than people expect.

Why Second-Guessing Wears Down Confidence

Second-guessing creates hesitation. Hesitation creates self-doubt. Over time, that pattern starts shaping how you see yourself.

Confidence isn’t just about sounding sure of yourself. It’s about feeling grounded in your own judgment. It’s the sense that you can make a choice, deal with the result, and recover if things don’t go perfectly.

When that inner trust gets weaker, even simple decisions can feel loaded. Small choices start taking too much energy. Other people’s opinions get louder. Regret shows up fast, even when a decision was perfectly reasonable.

That’s why self-trust matters so much. It sits underneath confidence. It affects how you decide, how you handle discomfort, and how you move through daily life.

Signs You’re Stuck in a Second-Guessing Pattern

Sometimes this pattern is obvious. Sometimes it hides in habits that seem normal until they start wearing you down.

You might be stuck in it if you often:

• ask several people for advice before making a simple choice
• replay conversations after they’re over
• feel anxious after saying what you really think
• change your mind quickly when someone disagrees with you
• regret reasonable decisions just because they felt uncomfortable
• assume other people know better than you do
• keep looking for reassurance after you’ve already made up your mind

When that becomes your normal, life starts to feel noisy. It gets harder to hear your own voice clearly.

What Self-Trust Actually Means

Self-trust doesn’t mean always being right.

It means believing you can make a solid decision with the information you have and handle what happens next. It means staying connected to yourself before, during, and after a choice.

Self-trust often sounds like this:

“I can choose without punishing myself afterward.”
“I can make mistakes and still respect myself.”
“I can listen to myself without spiraling.”
“I can handle discomfort without assuming something is wrong.”
“I can move forward without endless reassurance.”

It has a steady feel to it. Quiet. Grounded. Clear enough.

Why Second-Guessing Happens So Often

Second-guessing usually has roots.

For some people, it comes from being criticized often. For others, it comes from growing up in environments where keeping the peace mattered more than being honest. It can also come from perfectionism, people-pleasing, burnout, or experiences that made personal judgment feel unsafe.

Stress plays a role too. When your mind is overloaded, everything can feel more urgent. Decisions feel heavier. Doubt gets louder. Even small things can start carrying way too much emotional weight.

That’s part of why self-trust can’t be built through pressure. It grows better in an environment of honesty, steadiness, and support.

10 Ways to Build Self-Trust

Stop Treating Every Decision Like It Carries Your Whole Future

One reason second-guessing gets so intense is that every choice starts feeling enormous.

A message feels permanent. A boundary feels dramatic. A simple decision feels like proof of who you are. That kind of pressure makes clarity almost impossible.

It helps to remember that most decisions are part of a longer process. They’re not final verdicts on your intelligence, worth, or future. They’re just choices made in real time by a real person.

This shift can help:
This is a decision. It’s not a test of my value.

That thought creates breathing room. And breathing room makes self-trust easier.

Pause Before Looking for Permission

Low self-trust often shows up as permission-seeking.

That can look like asking for opinions before checking in with yourself. It can look like knowing what feels right but waiting for someone else to confirm it. It can look like feeling uneasy unless another person approves.

Outside perspective can be helpful. The problem starts when it drowns out your own.

The next time you feel the urge to ask someone else what they think, pause for a moment and ask:

• What do I already know?
• What feels true for me?
• What choice would I make if no one weighed in?

That pause matters. It helps reconnect you to your own judgment before outside noise takes over.

Keep Small Promises to Yourself

Self-trust grows through evidence.

One of the fastest ways to rebuild it is through small promises that are simple enough to keep. Not dramatic promises. Not perfect routines. Just small acts of consistency.

That might look like:

• taking the walk you said you’d take
• answering the email you’ve been avoiding
• going to bed when you planned to
• saying what you actually mean
• following through on one task before switching to another

Every time you follow through, you reinforce the idea that you’re reliable. That matters more than it seems.

A lot of confidence comes from knowing you won’t constantly abandon yourself.

Let Discomfort Exist Without Calling It a Mistake

This is a big one.

A lot of second-guessing happens because discomfort gets misread as proof that something went wrong. But discomfort doesn’t always mean misalignment. Sometimes it means growth. Sometimes it means vulnerability. Sometimes it means a choice touched a fear that was already there.

Saying no can feel uncomfortable. Speaking honestly can feel uncomfortable. Setting a boundary can feel uncomfortable. Being seen clearly can feel uncomfortable too.

None of that automatically means the decision was wrong.

Building self-trust often includes staying with discomfort a little longer instead of rushing to rewrite the choice.

Separate Intuition From Fear

When second-guessing becomes a habit, intuition and anxiety can start sounding similar.

Fear tends to feel urgent, repetitive, and loud. It pushes for certainty. It spirals fast. It wants immediate relief.

Intuition usually feels quieter. Even when it points toward something difficult, it often carries a grounded kind of clarity. It doesn’t usually scream. It lands.

A helpful question to ask is:
Is this feeling trying to protect me from discomfort, or guide me toward truth?

That won’t solve everything instantly, but it creates useful awareness. Over time, that awareness helps rebuild trust in your inner voice.

Stop Reopening Every Decision

Some people don’t just second-guess before a decision. They reopen it afterward again and again.

That habit drains so much energy.

Once a thoughtful decision has been made, it helps to let it settle. Rechecking it every hour rarely creates clarity. It usually just creates more doubt.

This doesn’t mean ignoring real concerns. It means recognizing when reflection has turned into self-interrogation.

At some point, a decision needs space to breathe.

Respond to Mistakes With Respect

Self-trust gets weaker when every mistake turns into an attack on your character.

If you make a choice and it doesn’t go well, the response matters. Shame tends to break trust. Respect rebuilds it.

Respect sounds like:
“That didn’t go how I hoped.”
“I can learn from this.”
“I still back myself.”
“I can adjust.”

This kind of response creates safety inside yourself. And when there’s safety, self-trust has somewhere to grow.

Practice Faster Decisions in Low-Stakes Moments

Overthinking becomes a reflex when every choice gets treated like a major event. One way to interrupt that pattern is by getting quicker with low-stakes decisions.

Choose the restaurant. Pick the outfit. Send the text. Make the plan. Stop editing every tiny thing into exhaustion.

This isn’t about becoming impulsive. It’s about creating movement.

Action builds trust. Endless hesitation usually builds more hesitation.

Keep Proof That You Can Trust Yourself

When self-trust is low, the mind has a way of highlighting every awkward moment and every mistake while skipping over your wisdom completely.

It helps to keep a record of moments when you handled something well.

Write down times when you:

• followed your gut and felt good about it
• made a decision and dealt with the outcome well
• said something honest and stood by it
• set a boundary and felt relieved afterward
• stayed calm in a moment that used to trigger spiraling

This gives your mind something real to return to. It turns self-trust into something visible rather than abstract.

Build a More Trustworthy Relationship With Yourself

At its core, self-trust is relational.

It grows when you listen to yourself, tell yourself the truth, follow through where you can, and stay respectful when things get messy. It weakens when you dismiss your feelings, override your needs, or abandon yourself the second discomfort appears.

That relationship is always being shaped.

A few questions can help:

• Do I listen to myself honestly?
• Do I make room for what I feel?
• Do I betray myself to stay liked?
• Do I speak to myself in a way that creates steadiness?

Those questions can shift a lot. They bring the focus back to the real issue: how you relate to yourself every day.

A Simple Daily Practice for Rebuilding Self-Trust

A short daily practice can make this feel more real.

Ask One Honest Question

What am I feeling right now?

Make One Clear Choice

Pick one small action that respects the answer.

Follow Through

Keep that promise, even if it’s simple.

Reflect at the End of the Day

Ask yourself, “Where did I show self-trust today?”

That kind of consistency builds something solid over time. It may not look dramatic from the outside, but it changes a lot internally.

Final Thoughts

If you’ve been second-guessing yourself, it doesn’t mean your inner voice is gone. It usually means it’s been drowned out by stress, fear, pressure, or habit.

Self-trust can come back.

It grows when choices are made with honesty. It grows when discomfort isn’t treated like failure. It grows when mistakes are met with respect instead of shame. It grows when your own voice starts getting a little more room.

That’s how confidence begins to feel real again.

Not all at once.
Not perfectly.
Just steadily, choice by choice.

If this resonated with you, you can find my book at realconfidencebook.com.

The post How to Build Self-Trust When You Keep Second-Guessing Yourself appeared first on Simone Knego.

What if confidence isn’t about fixing yourself—but learning how to trust your nervous system?

In this powerful episode of Her Unshakeable Confidence, Simone and Olivia sit down with EFT Master Practitioner, hypnotherapist, and author Theresa Lear Levine to explore adult ADHD, nervous system regulation, trauma, and what real confidence actually looks like.

Theresa shares her personal journey of being diagnosed with ADHD later in life, how trauma and subconscious patterns shape our behavior, and why time management, overwhelm, and self-doubt are often nervous system issues—not personal failures. Together, they unpack EFT (tapping), limiting beliefs like “I’m too much and not enough,” and how pleasure, boundaries, and self-trust create sustainable success.

This episode is a validating, eye-opening conversation for anyone who feels overwhelmed, distracted, or disconnected—and is ready to build confidence by working with their brain instead of against it.

Actionable Takeaways

Regulate Before You Reorganize: Calm your nervous system first—through breath, movement, or tapping—before trying to fix productivity or time management.

Question Limiting Beliefs: ADHD often carries beliefs like “I can’t trust myself” or “I’m behind.” Awareness is the first step to changing them.

Think in Capacity, Not Time: Shift from cramming hours to honoring your energy, boundaries, and nervous system needs.

Build Your Life Around Your Brain: Structure, routines, and boundaries aren’t weaknesses—they’re powerful self-advocacy tools.

Celebrate What You Did Do: Confidence grows when you acknowledge progress instead of focusing on what’s unfinished.

Chapters

00:00 — Introduction
01:30 — Adult ADHD and Late Diagnosis
04:10 — Nervous System Regulation and Focus
06:50 — What Is EFT (Tapping)?
11:00 — Big T vs. Little T Trauma
15:10 — Comparison and Invalidating Our Struggles
17:40 — ADHD, Time, and Overwhelm
20:10 — Capacity vs. Productivity
23:40 — Pleasure, Pressure, and Success
25:05 — Becoming More Me: Theresa’s Book
30:30 — Labels, Diagnosis, and Self-Advocacy
39:00 — ADHD Strengths and Superpowers
46:20 — Where to Find Theresa

About Theresa Lear Levine

Theresa Lear Levine is an EFT Master Practitioner, hypnotherapist, and the founder of Becoming More Me. Diagnosed with ADHD later in life, Theresa combines nervous system healing, subconscious work, and emotional freedom techniques to help high-achieving entrepreneurs release limiting beliefs, calm their minds, and align with abundance.

She is the international bestselling author of Becoming More Me: Tapping Into the Success Subconscious Secrets of an ADHD Entrepreneurial Mom, where she shares her personal journey alongside actionable EFT practices. Theresa works with clients worldwide and is passionate about helping women build confidence by honoring their nervous systems and trusting themselves fully.

Connect with Theresa Lear Levine

Website: www.theresalearlevine.com

Instagram: theresalearlevine

COMMUNITY LINK: https://www.skool.com/becoming-more-me-community/about

Connect with Us

Don’t forget to subscribe to Her Unshakeable Confidence for more empowering stories and actionable insights. Leave us a review, share your favorite moments, and tag us on social media!

Take our new QUIZ and discover your signature mix of courage, energy, and flavor.

Subscribe to our exclusive email list and receive our downloadable, FREE GUIDE. This guide, Positive Affirmations to Live Life Authentically, can contribute to a life transformation.

Click HERE to get your copy!

Pre-Order Simone’s New Book 

REAL Confidence A Simple Guide to Go from Unsure to Unshakeable

Order Simone’s The Extraordinary UnOrdinary You Book

Connect with Simone Knego:

• Instagram: @simoneknego
• Facebook: @speakersimoneknego
• LinkedIn: simoneknego
• Website: www.simoneknego.com
• Book a free call with Simone

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• Instagram: @oliviaknego
• LinkedIn: oliviaknego

Looking for more?

Visit Our Etsy Shop: theunshakeablestudio

Check out our inspirational mugs, shirts, and more at The Unshakeable Studio. These items are filled with gratitude and designed to inspire personal transformation in one’s life.

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The post ADHD and Nervous System Dysregulation: The Game-Changer for Focus and Confidence! appeared first on Simone Knego.

Every year, I choose a word.

This year, my word is action.

Not clarity. Not alignment. Not vision.

Action.

Because the importance of taking action has never been clearer to me. If you want to know how to build confidence, you have to understand this first: confidence isn’t built by thinking about what you want to do. It’s built by doing it.

Taking action isn’t just part of the process. It is the process. Taking action builds confidence in ways mindset work alone simply can’t.

And I’ve lived that truth in a very real way this year.

Why Taking Action Builds Confidence

Most people believe confidence comes first.

They tell themselves:
“Once I feel ready, I’ll start.”
“Once I’m more confident, I’ll speak up.”
“Once I believe in myself, I’ll finally launch the thing.”

But that’s backwards.

Confidence doesn’t show up before action. It grows because of action. The importance of taking action is that it creates proof. When you take action, you gather evidence. When you gather evidence, you build belief. And belief is what turns into confidence.

That’s what confidence through action really means. It’s earned. It’s reinforced. It’s strengthened every time you move instead of hesitate.

And nothing illustrated that more clearly to me than this past book launch.

The Reality Behind Becoming a USA Today Bestselling Author

When my new book, Real Confidence: A Simple Guide to Go from Unsure to Unshakeable, made the USA Today Best Seller list, it was an incredible moment.

It was validating. It was exciting. It was something I had worked toward for years.

But here’s what people don’t see.

Becoming a USA Today bestselling author wasn’t just about writing a great book. Writing was the foundation, yes. But writing alone doesn’t create visibility. And without visibility, even the best work sits unnoticed.

With my first book, I truly believed, “If you write it, they will come.”

They won’t.

You can write the best book on the planet, but if nobody knows it exists, nobody’s going to buy it. That lesson alone taught me the importance of taking action in a way nothing else could.

This time, I approached it differently.

What Taking Action Actually Looked Like

Taking action meant messaging and calling people I know and asking them to buy the book. It meant asking them to share it. It meant sending emails, following up, and clearly saying, “Will you support this?”

That’s not always comfortable.

As women especially, we’re often taught not to sell. We don’t want to feel pushy. We don’t want to take up too much space. We hope people will notice our hard work and automatically rally around it.

Hope isn’t a strategy.

So I took action.

I went on over 200 podcasts to talk about the book and the message. Not five. Not ten. Over 200 conversations where I showed up, shared the framework, answered questions, and made the ask.

I hosted a large launch event. I’m hosting another one in Nashville this week. I didn’t wait for something to happen. I created momentum.

That’s what taking action builds confidence looks like in real life. It’s consistent. It’s intentional. It’s uncomfortable at times. And it works.

The Marketing Truth Most People Ignore

This applies far beyond books.

You can have the best idea, the best product, the best message, or the best skill set. But if you don’t tell people about it, it won’t grow.

Marketing and selling aren’t dirty words. They’re bridges between your work and the people it’s meant to serve. Yet so many people shrink at this stage. They overthink; They hesitate; They wait.

That waiting keeps them stuck.

The importance of taking action is that it interrupts that pattern. It forces movement; It creates visibility; It builds resilience.

Every time I hit send on a message asking someone to support the book, I was practicing what I teach. I was choosing action over self doubt. I was choosing visibility over shrinking. And that choice, repeated consistently, builds confidence faster than positive thinking ever could.

Taking Action Before You Feel Ready

There were moments I wondered if it would work.

Moments I questioned whether I was asking too much. Moments I worried about being ignored. When you’re putting yourself out there that publicly, doubt has a voice.

But I took action anyway.

Not because every ask turned into a yes. It didn’t. Some people didn’t respond. Some said no. That’s part of it.

But every time I acted despite the discomfort, I strengthened something inside myself.

I proved I was willing to stand behind my work; I proved I was willing to risk being seen; I proved I believed in the message enough to promote it boldly.

That’s how to build confidence. Not by eliminating doubt, but by moving forward with it.

Confidence through action isn’t about feeling fearless. It’s about building evidence that you can handle what comes next.

Action and The REAL Method

In The REAL Method, confidence starts with self respect. It continues with embracing failure, asking yourself what you want, and living without limits.

Action runs through every pillar.

You can’t respect yourself and stay stuck;
You can’t embrace failure if you never try;
You can’t ask yourself what you want and refuse to pursue it;
You can’t live without limits while playing small.

Action turns clarity into momentum. It turns intention into growth. And over time, it transforms the way you see yourself.

That’s why my word of the year is action. Not because I suddenly feel fearless. But because I understand that growth requires movement.

One Question That Changes Everything

If you take nothing else from this, take this:

What’s one action you can take this week?

Not a full five year plan. Not a perfect strategy. Just one step.

1.Send the email.
2.Make the call.
3.Post the message.
4.Have the conversation.
5.Submit the proposal.

Small, consistent action compounds. It creates results. But even more importantly, it builds internal strength.

Because every time you act, you send yourself a message: I can do hard things.

That’s how taking action builds confidence in real, measurable ways.

From Unsure to Unshakeable

Making the USA Today Best Seller list didn’t happen because I wished for it. It happened because I worked for it.

It happened because I understood that writing the book was only half the equation. The other half was showing up, consistently and courageously, to tell the world about it.

Taking action changed the outcome.

But more importantly, it changed me.

It reinforced what I teach every day: confidence isn’t a personality trait. It’s a skill. And action is the training ground.

If you’re ready to stop waiting and start building real confidence in your own life, I wrote Real Confidence: A Simple Guide to Go from Unsure to Unshakeable for you.

Inside, I walk you through the mindset shifts and behaviors that help you overcome self doubt, build self respect, and take the kind of action that creates lasting change.

You can grab your copy at realconfidencebook.com or wherever books are sold.

Because confidence isn’t something you wait for.

It’s something you build. One action at a time.

The post The Importance of Taking Action: How Action Builds Real Confidence appeared first on Simone Knego.