It took me years before I felt comfortable in my own skin.

Because of this, body image is a topic that’s close to my heart.

Let’s face it: we’re bombarded with so many mixed messages about how we should look.

But here’s the thing—your body is amazing, just as it is.

Developing a positive body image is so important for women and even men.

We all need to learn to embrace the unique, extraordinary people that we are.

Here are some ways we can do that.

Be Kind to Yourself

First up is self-compassion. I talk about this often because it’s really foundational to everything else we do.

We’re often our own worst critics, right?

Let’s change that.

Treat yourself like you would a good friend.

Next time you catch yourself thinking something negative about your body, pause.

Replace that thought with something kind.

Your body does so much for you—it deserves some love and respect!

Ditch Unrealistic Standards

We all know those images we see in the media are not real life.

They’re edited, filtered, and sometimes completely fake.

Start recognizing these for what they are—fantasies.

Follow accounts and subscribe to media that celebrate real bodies in all their diverse glory.

You’ll find it refreshing and liberating to see beauty in all forms.

Appreciate What Your Body Can Do

Start shifting your focus from how your body looks to what it can do.

Your legs? They get you places.

Your hands? They create and connect.

Your arms? They hug your children.

Every day, write down a few things you’re grateful for about your body.

It’s a game-changer.

Suddenly, you’ll start appreciating your body for its strength and resilience.

Dress for Joy

Clothes can do wonders for how you feel.

Wear what makes you happy and comfortable, not just what’s trendy.

When you feel good in what you’re wearing, it shows.

Confidence looks good on everyone.

And it starts with feeling great in your own skin.

Move for Fun

Exercise shouldn’t be a chore.

Find activities that make you happy.

Whether it’s dancing in your living room, hiking in the mountains, or swimming in the ocean.

Just do what makes your heart sing.

Joyful movement is about celebrating your body’s capabilities, not punishing it.

Surround Yourself with Positivity

We all have our people—and those people matter.

Surround yourself with people who lift you up, not those who bring you down.

It’s amazing how much a positive, supportive circle can influence your self-image.

Distance yourself from negative people and watch your confidence soar.

Be Mindful

Mindfulness is your friend.

Pay attention to how you feel about your body without judging yourself.

Notice your thoughts and feelings, but don’t let them control you.

This practice helps you connect with your body on a deeper level.

And it helps to foster acceptance for yourself.

Set Realistic Goals

If you have health or fitness goals, make sure they’re realistic.

Don’t aim for the impossible.

Focus on what makes you feel good and healthy.

Celebrate every small victory along the way.

Progress is about feeling better, not necessarily looking different.

Talk Nicely to Yourself

Your inner voice matters.

What you say to and about yourself will determine what you see and feel about yourself.

Practice positive self-talk.

When you catch yourself thinking negatively, flip the script.

Instead of saying, “I hate my thighs,” say, “My thighs are strong and powerful.”

This shift in language can make a big difference over time.

It may sound silly, but the words you say really do matter.

If you want to love yourself, start using positive words to express kindness for yourself.

Get Help if You Need It

Sometimes, we need a little extra support, and that’s totally okay.

If you’re struggling with body image issues, consider talking to a therapist or counselor.

They can offer personalized strategies to help you break free from negative thoughts.

There’s no shame in getting the help you need to overcome a lifetime of negative thinking.

We all need help—be grateful for it.

Developing a Positive Body Image Is a Journey

It’s not always easy to love ourselves, especially when our bodies have given birth to children, or lived a few decades, or both.

But learning to feel comfortable in your own skin is so worth it.

By embracing your unique beauty, practicing gratitude, surrounding yourself with positive people, and seeking support when needed, you can build a healthier relationship with your body.

Remember, you are amazing just the way you are.

Celebrate your body for all that it is, and let your true self shine through.

After all, there is no one else in the world just like you.

You are the extraordinary, unordinary you.

The post How to Develop a Positive Body Image appeared first on Simone Knego.

But something pretty remarkable happens when we face hard things with a positive perspective.

Not only do we gain valuable experience and grow into a better version of ourselves, but if we pay attention, we can learn valuable lessons that will follow us for the rest of our lives.

That’s exactly what happened to me when I made the decision to climb Mount Kilimanjaro for the Livestrong Foundation.

I’m from Florida, so I had never climbed a mountain before. But I believed I could do it, so I did. That doesn’t mean it was easy. It’s probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

But by facing that challenge with a positive mindset, I gained much more than bragging rights.

Here are the five lessons I learned from climbing Mount Kilimanjaro that will be beneficial to anyone who is currently doing hard things.  

#1. Expect the unexpected.

Climbing Mount Kilimanjaro was completely out of my comfort zone. I’m sure some of you can relate to that with the hard things you are currently facing.

As I said, I had never climbed anything before, and I had no idea what to expect.

I tried as hard as I could to train so that my body would be prepared. But what was even more important for me was to go into this challenge with a positive mindset and really believe in myself.

Things happen when you’re facing hard things.

Just like things happen when you’re climbing a mountain.

I got sick while on the mountain and I wasn’t sure how I was going to keep functioning. As you can probably imagine, it’s very hard to do any sport, including climbing a mountain, with a stomach illness.

Although I planned for it and brought plenty of antibiotics, as people are known to get sick traveling to other countries, it was still very unexpected and difficult for me.

All I could do was try my very best to take care of myself in that moment so I could keep moving the next day. I had to be okay with myself and with the situation.

I had to remind myself that unexpected things are bound to happen to each of us. And it’s okay to just do the best you can in the moment and let time take care of the rest.

When we face hard things, sometimes we have to learn to roll with the punches and stop worrying about those things that are outside of our control.

#2. Don’t Rush.

This isn’t just advice for when you’re doing hard things, this is a great reminder for everything we do in our lives.

We’re always trying to get from point A to point B. But we need to also enjoy the journey.

Because of the high elevation, climbing a mountain like Kilimanjaro often becomes difficult because it’s very hard to breathe.

It becomes a mindset of just putting one foot in front of the other rather than racing up the mountain.

The same is true when facing hard things in life.

It’s about the overall experience and what we can learn from it.

For me, going up the mountain was okay. But I had a couple of knee surgeries years before and coming back down really killed my knee.

My knee was so swollen I could barely bend it, so I had to go very slow on the way back down.

One of the guides stayed with me and I kept apologizing over and over again because I was holding him back.

His response is one I will never forget. He kept telling me not to apologize because it was really the first time he was able to truly enjoy the nature around him.

In that moment of the hike, everyone is generally focused on the summit and rushing to whatever is next.  But because we had to take it slow, we were able to really enjoy nature, to see the monkeys in the trees, and to take in the beautiful views.

It was a valuable reminder for me to slow down, don’t rush, and just put one foot in front of the other.

Often times when we face hard things, we want to rush through them so we no longer have to face them. But by slowing down, beautiful and amazing things we never knew were there will start to come into focus.

Putting one foot in front of the other—even when it’s hard—allows us to actually enjoy the journey rather than just focusing on the final destination.

#3. Don’t be embarrassed to ask for help.

I truly believe that for most of us, when we are faced with hard things, we try to tackle them alone.

So many times we feel that if we can’t do something by ourselves, we’ve somehow failed.

And a lot of times, we’re just too embarrassed to ask.

There have been plenty of times where I’ve tried to do things on my own or even decided not to do them because I didn’t feel I could do it properly. So I just wouldn’t do it at all.

But if that’s our mindset, how are we ever going to learn?

We learn by asking for help from those who already know.

Ask—even if you might feel silly about asking.

My first night on Kilimanjaro, I froze. It was so cold that I could barely sleep because I literally felt that I was freezing to death.

Being from Florida, our sleeping bags for camping aren’t your typical sleeping bags. We have no need for sleeping bags that keep you warm in below-freezing temperatures. I had never used a mummy bag and had no idea how it worked.

When I woke up the next morning, I told my tent mate that I had no idea how to use my sleeping bag to keep myself warm. She laughed because she had the same problem. So we decided that as silly as it was, we were going to ask someone who knew how to use our sleeping bags.

We learned the importance of making sure our head was in the bag properly so as to only leave our mouth and nose exposed for breathing.

That one silly question literally saved my life. That second night and every night after, I was as warm as could be.

When facing hard things—things you may have never encountered before—don’t be afraid to ask for help.

We’re all human and we all need guidance once in a while.

Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s actually a sign of courage and strength. It shows that you are willing to learn and that you are ready for someone to teach you.

#4. There is value in teamwork.

We cannot go through life by ourselves. We need each other.

Think about all the people you rely on just to get you to work in the morning. From the people who manufactured, delivered, and sold you your toothpaste, to the barista at the coffee shop. We need each other—and we rely on one another for our survival.

Even within our immediate circle of people, we need each other. And it’s important we learn to work as a team.

While climbing Mount Kilimanjaro, those members of my team were invaluable, but the most valuable asset to our climbing expedition were the porters.

The porters weren’t just porters, they were super athletes who climbed Kilimanjaro on a regular basis.

It would take us hours and hours to get to the next camp, yet it took them a fraction of the time because they were so conditioned in their fitness level.

Having these capable team members made it possible to do hard things.

As far as I’m concerned, the porters get far too little credit for the incredible feats they were able to accomplish. I’ve never seen something more impressive in my life.

Watching the porters opened my eyes to how hard they work and what vital members of the team they are.

As we headed out for the next camp, the porters would stay behind and pack our camp. They would then pass us on the trail with the entire camp equipment in tow. By the time we reached the next camp, the porters would have everything in camp set up, the food tent prepared, and snacks waiting for us.

It was like nothing I’d ever experienced.

Without teamwork from the climbers and the porters, my experience of climbing Mount Kilimanjaro would have been much more difficult and I would have never made it to the top.

Being part of a team is such a valuable commodity both for leadership and for life.

Find your people and create your team so when you are faced with hard things, you will have the people you need to help you get through to the other side safely.

#5. Be kind to yourself.

This may be the hardest lesson for most of us.

We put so much pressure on ourselves to make sure we are living up to expectations. Sometimes those expectations are our own and sometimes they are someone else’s.

When I signed up for this climb, I was so focused on getting to the summit. And while that mindset was truly helpful to me as I pushed myself through the hard, I often wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t made it to the summit.

Would I have still been kind to myself?

Showing kindness to ourselves makes hard things easier.

We need to remind ourselves that success is different for every single person.

And just because we don’t finish in the way we thought we would doesn’t mean we weren’t successful.

We have to remind ourselves when we don’t get selected for that job, or we don’t get into that one college, or we don’t get chosen as the speaker for the big stage and we’re assigned to a break-out room instead, that we should still be kind to ourselves.

One of the most important things we can do for ourselves, especially when facing hard things, is to give ourselves grace. We need to continue believing in ourselves even when the outcome isn’t what we hoped for or expected.

When we continue to believe in ourselves, we give ourselves the ability to still move forward even when life is hard.

When we can look in the mirror and tell ourselves we did our best and we’ll go out there and give it our best again, and actually believe it, we will have all the power we need to face hard things.

Because the ultimate power to face hard things and win will always come from within.

The post 5 Lessons I Learned From Doing Hard Things appeared first on Simone Knego.

For years this was a serious struggle for me. I would not give myself a break. Every morning, looking in the mirror, I would be constantly disappointed and unhappy with what I saw. It wasn’t just my body image—it was the whole package.

I felt like I wasn’t making a difference in the world, and I didn’t feel that I had any value.

Of course, that was very far from the actual truth. In reality, I had a lot of amazing things going for me in my life. And as the mother of six kids, that in itself should have made me realize I was doing good things and making a difference in the lives of others.

But, unfortunately, that’s not the way I saw myself.

I was my own worst critic. And I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who struggles with that problem.

Many of us are way too hard on ourselves. We set the bar so unreasonably high that we tend to feel permanently inadequate most of the time.

Research has shown that when women go to apply for a job, they feel like they have to meet every skill on the list of requirements before they’ll even consider applying. When the truth is, it’s very rare that you’ll tick every box.

We need to stop seeing ourselves as mortally flawed and instead recognize the good that we offer to the world simply by being who we are—flaws and all.

Here are four reasons we need to stop being so hard on ourselves.

Each and every one of us adds value to the world.

Sometimes this can be really hard to see, but we need to start looking for the value we bring into the world. What you look for, you’re going to find. We need to stop looking for our flaws and focus more on our strengths.

There are things that only you bring into the world that no one else can. For example, no one else has your smile. Share it often and find places where you can use your smile to brighten someone else’s day.

There are choices we make every day that impact the world around us.

When you look at your life from a different perspective, you’ll be amazed at the small things you do that are already making a big difference.

There is no such thing as perfection.

We are all humans having a human experience and no one is perfect—no one. We are all doing our best to move through the world the best way we know how. It’s not going to be a perfect shot for any of us.

And now that things are crazy with a pandemic and the world is becoming increasingly polarized, navigating life is even more difficult.

But part of the difficulty in life is our own expectations—especially those we place on ourselves. We feel like we need to have everything perfect before we can launch our business or live our passion. But the reality is that it will never be the perfect time and you will never have the perfect plan.

We need to have the courage to do the things we are passionate about without the expectation of perfection. That expectation we place on ourselves is debilitating. Obsessing on perfection is what keeps us stuck and unable to move forward.

Progress is always better than perfection. If you can keep progress as your focus, you’ll move forward even when circumstances are less than ideal.

Letting go of perfection is one of the most liberating things you can do for yourself.

Comparing yourself to others will steal your joy.

One of the most significant ways we are hard on ourselves is in the way we compare ourselves to others.

Comparison is not only dangerous but, as Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.”

It’s almost impossible to be happy when we never feel comfortable in our own skin or never feel like we are enough.

As I said before, we all have value and none of us are perfect—even the person you are comparing yourself to. You are the only you there is, and there are things that only you can do.

There is no need to compare yourself to anyone else. You are exactly who you need to be right where you are.

Celebrate others for the good they are bringing into the world and celebrate yourself for your own contributions. You be you and let others be who they are. That is how we will experience the greatest joy in this life—imperfections and all.

Being hard on yourself doesn’t just affect you.

For me, understanding this has had the greatest impact on how I treat myself.

When my daughter was thirteen years old, I was getting ready for a holiday party. As I put on clothing that was a little too tight because I had gained weight, I felt very uncomfortable and very self-conscious. In that frame of mind, I began muttering under my breath my frustrations about it.

As I was verbally abusing myself about the weight gain my daughter could no longer stay quiet.

“You need to stop being so hard on yourself,” she said, “You’re beautiful! You’re amazing just as you are. How can you expect me to love my own body when you don’t even like yours?”

Her words were a wake-up call to me.

When we are hard on ourselves, whether we are talking bad about ourselves to ourselves or talking bad about ourselves to someone else, other people hear it and it affects their own perceptions.

From that moment on, I vowed I would start seeing myself differently. I realized that when we are hard on ourselves, it doesn’t just affect us, it negatively affects the people around us.  

If we want to build our children up, help them to believe in themselves, and encourage them to feel comfortable in their own skin, we have to stop being so hard on ourselves.

It begins with us.

Research from the Dove Self-Esteem Project found that 7 in 10 girls believe they are not good enough. This includes their looks, their performance in school, and even their relationships with friends and family. By the age of 17, 78% of teenage girls will be unhappy with their bodies.

Interestingly enough, the same project found that just 4% of women worldwide consider themselves beautiful—4%.

How can we change these staggering statistics?

It starts with how we look at ourselves and our own mindset.

Because whatever perceptions we have, those are the perceptions we will ultimately pass down to the next generation of women, whether we are aware of it or not.

We are each remarkable, unique, and UnOrdinary.

We are Extraordinary.

And we are more than enough.

The post 4 Reasons We Need to Stop Being So Hard On Ourselves appeared first on Simone Knego.