This is something that I have struggled with for years.

Your response is a reflection of you.

Being able to say thank you for a compliment is part of our ability to see our own self-worth.

It is seeing our value and respecting our reflection.

Saying thank you for a compliment encompasses all the things that I like to talk about when I speak to women about loving who they are and seeing themselves differently.

The ability to say thank you when someone gives you a compliment is really a reflection on how you feel about yourself.

If you don’t recognize the good in yourself, you’re not going to believe others when they see it.

This is why it’s so important that we learn to see the good within ourselves.

That way, when other people recognize that good and compliment us on it, we will recognize it, too.

Rather than feeling uncomfortable by the compliment, we can accept it and simply say, “Thank you.”

A compliment is a reflection of what others see.

I used to struggle for years with accepting compliments.

When someone said I looked pretty or that my hair looked great, I always had an excuse. I felt I had to explain why it really wasn’t or why it was not the norm.

Every time I was given a compliment, I always had an answer for them instead of just accepting the compliment and saying thank you.

Over the years, however, I have realized the error of that way of thinking.

When someone goes out of their way to give you a compliment, it’s not because they have to.

It’s because they genuinely feel the truth of it.

They have a desire to give you the compliment because that is how they see you.

And because they want you to know the good that they see in you.

By saying thank you, we are accepting their view of who we are and validating them in their perspective.

Thank you are the only two words required.

I was at a friend’s house the other day when someone gave her a compliment.

This person actually gave her multiple compliments like, “You look really pretty,” and “You look great in that outfit.”

My friend’s response was, “You think?”

This friend of mine is the sweetest, nicest person in the world. And she’s absolutely beautiful.

But her response was, “You think?”

I immediately said, “Oh, girl, you know what I’m going to say. You know how much I struggled to say thank you when I was given a compliment.”

So she repeated back the words, “Thank you.”

Those two simple words are so hard for us to say when it comes to accepting a compliment. But they are really the only two words we need.

We don’t have to question the compliment, make excuses for it, or downright refuse it.

All that we have to do is simply say thank you and receive the compliment with grace and gratitude.

Genuinely accepting compliments can change our perspective.

Sometimes, it’s hard for us to see who we truly are.

But seeing ourselves through the eyes of another can help us change our negative perspective.

We need to give ourselves more credit for who we are and what we have to offer the world.

If we really want to build our confidence, we have to recognize that it doesn’t come from the outside—it starts on the inside.

We have to build our confidence through self-respect, self-acceptance, self-worth, and self-love.

All of these things together can really change how we see ourselves.

And when we’re confident on the inside, we’re confident on the outside, too. It just works together.

The more confident we are, the easier it is to accept compliments when they come.

Make it a point to give compliments to others.

It’s not just important to receive compliments, it’s also important to give compliments when you see good things in others.

I’m not saying to just go around giving compliments for the sake of giving compliments. I’m talking about genuinely looking for the good in others and complimenting them on it.

When you see something good, say something good.

This is really how we ought to be living every day of our lives—when you see the good, be the good.

Another friend of mine was telling me a story about how she was walking down the street and saw an absolutely gorgeous woman.

As my friend walked past this woman, she gave her the once over, looking her up and down.

My friend didn’t say anything because she didn’t have the courage to speak in that moment, and the woman passed.

She walked about five more feet, then turned around and went back to the woman and said, “I have to tell you, you look so beautiful in that outfit. I’m sure when I looked at you, you probably thought I was judging you. But all I was thinking was that you look so beautiful.”

The woman’s response surprised my friend, “Thank you so much. My husband just left me, and I’m here on vacation by myself, trying to get myself back together again. I can’t tell you what a difference you have made in my day.”

Just a simple moment of courage from my friend in giving this woman a genuine compliment changed everything for that woman.

Find your courage to both give and receive a compliment.

My friend’s experience is a great reminder to all of us that when we see something, we need to find our courage and our voice to say something.

We may never know the difference we can make with one simple compliment to a stranger.

We also need to find our courage to say thank you when a compliment is given to us.

We may have so much we want to say instead. We may even be embarrassed by the compliment because we feel it’s not the truth.

But remember that when someone gives you a compliment, it is their perspective, and it is their truth.

So, accept what others see, and say thank you for their perspective. Let it help you start building that confidence of yours from the inside out.

Because the more we can see ourselves through the eyes of another, the more we can see the truth for ourselves.

And the more we can train ourselves to see the good, the more good we will see.

The post The Importance of Both Giving and Accepting a Compliment appeared first on Simone Knego.

It’s called the negativity bias, and it can be a real problem for our mental health.

Negativity bias is automatic.

Studies have shown that our brains react much more heavily to negative stimuli.

This means that you could be having a really great day until something negative happens, and then that negative thing is all you can think about.

It’s also why when we look in the mirror, we are drawn to our flaws, and we completely miss all of the good things there are to see.

Sadly, it is human nature to remember bad experiences over the positive ones.

Similarly, it’s more likely we will have negative thoughts over positive ones.

And we will remember the insults and criticism of others more than their praise.

Scientists aren’t sure why our brains are wired this way, but they are.

The challenge is to recognize our own negativity bias and learn to overcome it.

We can do this by striving our best to see the good in the world.

We need to see the good in ourselves.

Why is it so hard to give ourselves a compliment?

We have no problem giving other people compliments.

When you see someone wearing a nice dress, you compliment them.

When you see someone has had their hair done, you compliment them on it.

But we struggle to do that for ourselves because we only see our flaws.

Last week, Olivia and I recorded a podcast episode where we talked about labels.

During one part of the conversation, I asked her to give me five really strong things about herself.

I suppose it was the same as me asking her to compliment herself. And because of that, she really struggled to say five things just off the cuff.

For some strange reason, complimenting ourselves is just not something most of us are comfortable with.

But we need to get comfortable with it.

We need to use “I am” statements and actually believe them.

As Olivia was trying to come up with five strong positive things about herself, she was able to think of some things, but she couldn’t say them as “I am” statements.

Instead, she said, “I think I am smart,” or, “I think I am creative.” She couldn’t just give herself the compliment.

When she finally got to the last one, she said, “Okay, I’ll stop saying ‘I think.’”

So she proceeded to say, “I have a pretty face.”

She couldn’t even say she was pretty.

I called her on it and told her, “You are pretty! Why can’t you say that?”

Her response was, “I’m not ready to say it like that yet.”

It was hard for her to just add the words “I am” to her statements of who she was.

I thought her reaction was very interesting because, honestly, I don’t think it was much different than other woman who are asked the same question.

We struggle to own who we are because our negativity bias keeps all of those negative things about ourselves front and center.

We become our worst critics because we can see ALL our flaws—even the flaws we keep hidden from others.

We need to change our focus.

What would happen if we changed our focus and started highlighting our positive traits instead of our negative ones?

I know that may be a challenge for many of us. But training ourselves to see the good is the only way we are going to overcome that negativity bias.

We need to more intentionally focus on the positive side of life.

I’m not saying there’s nothing negative. What I am saying is that if we focus on the negative, all that we’re going to get back is negativity.

The world is a very difficult place. There’s a lot of negativity out there. But we can make things a little bit better if we train our brains to focus on the positive.

This is especially true in the way we see ourselves.

We can train our brains to see the good by looking at ourselves the way we look at others.

In my conversation with Olivia, it was very challenging for her to tell me five positive things about herself.

But when I asked her to say five positive things about me, she could instantly rattle off five things that she really liked. It wasn’t even a struggle for her.

How amazing would it be if we could do the same thing for ourselves?

We need to accept who we are.

One way to overcome negativity bias is by accepting the flaws as a natural part of being human.

When we are able to accept our weaknesses without judgment, it is much easier for us to focus on our strengths.

The best thing we can do for ourselves is to accept who we are, accept what we’re doing, accept where we are at, and then let go of any negativity associated with it.

We need to stop holding onto all the negative things in life and choose to hold onto those positive things instead.

Think about it: if we are filled to the brim with negativity, there is no place for anything positive to go.

So, hold onto the positive and let the negativity fall to the ground. You don’t need to carry it anyway.

Here’s my challenge to you.

I challenge everyone reading this to list five strong, positive things you love about yourself.

Look in the mirror and name five things you like about what you see.

You don’t even have to look in the mirror if you don’t want to. You can just list five things that you like about yourself.

Maybe you have good handwriting, you’re a really good driver, or you are a hard worker.

Whatever it is, start your day with those five positive things.

Give yourself compliments, and stop being your hardest critic.

Negativity bias is real. And giving yourself compliments is one of the best ways to overcome it.

So, compliment yourself and then go out there and compliment others.

It makes a person feel good when they are caught by surprise with a compliment.

Not only will compliments help you see the good in yourself, but your compliments to others will help them to see the good in themselves, as well.

The world needs more positivity, so why not let it begin with you?

The post How to Overcome Negativity in Your Life appeared first on Simone Knego.

With social media and selfies giving us a peek into the lives of others, sometimes it’s hard to love your life when someone else’s looks so much better.

But real life is beyond the perfect pictures and posed selfies. I can promise you that no one’s life is the picture of perfection you think it is.

But any life can be a happy life if you have the proper mindset.

Here are six reasons to love the life you’re living and how to love your life better.

You’re the author of your own story.

This means that you get to write your own personal story by the choices you make and how you choose to live.

If you want to love the life you’re living, start living a life you love.

Not only do we get to create our own goals, but we have the ability to live out our dreams.

Of course, this requires action on our part, and that can seem overwhelming at times. But you can accomplish anything one step at a time.

When I set out to climb Mount Kilimanjaro, I had never even climbed a mountain before. But I climbed the hills in Florida and did all the preparation I could to accomplish that goal.

And in the end, I accomplished that goal just like I accomplish any other goal I set for myself. I did it one step at a time.

Each step you take towards something is one step closer to where you want to be.

You are the only one like you.

We all know there is no one else like us. So why do we try so hard to be someone else?

If you want to love the life you’re living, start by loving yourself.

You are the foundation for everything else you will do in life. Keep your foundation strong by remembering you are valuable. Your contributions are needed.

There is no one else like you in the entire universe.

The world needs what you have to offer. And you have the ability to touch the lives of those around you in a way that only you can do.

We need to spend less time wishing we were someone else and more time doing the things only we can do.

Perfection is a myth.

Perfection is something we’re always chasing, but can never quite catch.

That’s because perfection doesn’t exist!

If you want to love the life you’re living, stop chasing perfection.

We’re human—none of us are free from flaws or defects.

When we give ourselves permission to embrace our humanness, we also give ourselves permission to make mistakes.

Mistakes and failures are what great lives are founded upon. Penicillin, potato chips, the Pacemaker, silly putty, inkjet printers, and Post-it notes were all created by mistake.

Embrace your mistakes. You never know what they may lead to.  

But what you can always be sure of is that every mistake will give you greater experience and growth.

And greater experience and growth will lead to a better life.

There is good in every circumstance.

No matter what circumstance you find yourself in, there is good to be found there.

If you want to love the life you’re living, start seeking out the good.

Every rainstorm has a rainbow, and every trial has a lesson.

What you look for—you are going to find.

If you keep your focus on all the negative things in your life, that’s what you’re going to see a hundred percent of the time.

But if you change your perspective and start looking for the lessons out of life, you are going to find those, too.

And the more you look for the good, the easier it will be to find it.

Train yourself to see the good things in life.

Because, as I said before, you will always find what it is you are looking for.

Happiness is a choice.

As humans, we have an amazing ability to make choices. When we learn to be intentional with our choices, we have a greater ability to shape and define our life.

This is especially true when it comes to choosing to be happy no matter what.

Happiness isn’t just something that happens to you. Happiness is one of those things you get to choose every single day.

If you want to love the life you’re living, choose to be happy with the life you already have.

Too often we think that the grass is greener on the other side. When in reality, the grass is only greener because the owner loved it enough to nurture it.

What do you already have in life that you need to love and nurture?

Choosing happiness is easy when you are grateful for what you have and you’re willing to nurture what is already there.

You’re already making a difference.

In everything you do and say, I hope you recognize the good you are already doing.

No matter who you are, there are people depending on you, watching you, learning from you.

The smile you give a stranger, the text you send a friend, the kindness you show your neighbor—all those little acts of kindness matter. They matter to the people who receive that little bit of you that you are willing to give away.

If you want to love the life you’re living, remember that you’re already making a difference.

Too often we think we have to do something on a grand scale to change the world.

But the small, kind acts you do every day are changing the world right where you are.

The world doesn’t need you to be someone else—the world needs you.

You are enough, exactly as you are.

Learning to love the life you’re living is much easier when you recognize all that is good about the life you already have.

When you love yourself, choose happiness, stop chasing perfection, seek out the good, and remember that you’re already making a difference, you will realize that you really are living a life you already love.

The post 6 Reasons to Love the Life You’re Already Living appeared first on Simone Knego.

This year, 2021, marks 600 years since the first Thanksgiving in 1621.

But our world is much different from the world where Thanksgiving first began.

Gratitude is more important than ever.

For me, gratitude is being able to see the good in the world and to be grateful for it.

It’s easy to see the good in the world when things are going well.

But what do you do on those really hard days where you are facing issues that are truly complicated?

How is it possible to see the silver lining in what may seem like an impossible situation?

It’s all about mindset and where we place our focus.

If we make an honest effort to focus on the overall picture and try to see further down the road, not only will this allow us to see the good, but it will enable us to be grateful for even the hard days.

I had an incident last week that I couldn’t fully resolve.

I hired a company to do some repairs on my home, but the repairmen created an even bigger problem while trying to do the work.

When the owner of the company came to look at the issue caused by his own employees, he was as negative as negative could be the moment he walked through the door.

He instantly declared that his employees were not responsible, and it was my fault, even though it was very clear that the problem was caused by the work that his employees did.

I let him continue on like this for a while, but I knew I had to say something.

As I gathered my composure, I looked at him and said, “I would appreciate it if you would stop being so aggressive. We’re trying to fix a situation here and we need to work as a team to resolve it. There is no reason for you to come into my house and be rude.”

He looked at me in shock. I don’t think he was expecting me to say anything. But I couldn’t let that moment pass me by. He was the owner of the company, and it was important he understood that his actions and words were not professional or even kind.

How did I see the good in that situation?

Well, in the moment, I didn’t. I was very frustrated and shocked by how he was talking to me. But after I spoke my peace, he actually changed his tone of voice. He stopped being so defensive and his employees came back to resolve the issue.

The lesson for me in that situation was the importance of standing my ground in a kind and respectful way. I could have argued right back to him, or I could have been negative and rude myself. I could have started yelling, or been angry. But none of that would have solved the situation. And I’m hoping that the way I interacted with him will help him to interact better with people in the future.

It’s not easy to see the good in every situation. But I have learned that in those difficult moments, expressing gratitude for the things I have learned has become a very powerful and positive force for me.

Psychological research shows that gratitude actually leads to happiness.

Oftentimes, people see things the other way. They think if you’re happy, it’s easy to be grateful. Of course, this is true. But if you’re grateful, it’s much easier to be happy.

We can show gratitude for so many little things throughout our day—even and especially on the tough days. You can be grateful for your family and friends, for your home, for the food you eat and the clothes you wear.

I’m a big fan of evening gratitudes. It’s actually a practice I just started this year. At the end of my day, I think of something or someone I’m grateful for. This has become such an important practice for me.

There are so many different gratitude practices out there that you can start implementing. It doesn’t have to take up a lot of time from your day. But just the mindset shift of being thankful for something each and every day will become a positive force for good that will help move you forward.

We each have a choice, even when there are outside factors that play into it. We can choose to be happy, or we can choose to be miserable.

I choose to be happy—especially in situations where other people are miserable, so I can help them to get out of their own misery.

Even when times are tough we all have something to be grateful for.

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday of the year because it’s all about family. My whole family is going to be home this year, which makes me very happy. It’s about sharing food with family and friends. It’s about sharing stories together. And it’s about caring for one another.

My youngest daughter recently asked me why the world only focuses on giving thanks just one day a year.

My response to her is that gratitude should be an everyday thing, which is why I do my evening gratitudes. It’s important for us to be thankful even on those days that don’t have a name or a holiday, and especially on those days this it is hard to find something to be grateful about.

My experience is that there is always something to be grateful for. We just have to look for it and train ourselves to see the good that’s already there waiting to be found.

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