Updated November 2026
Women build confidence the same way anyone builds a skill: through small actions repeated over time. The seven confidence-building tips below are the ones I practice myself, and each one ties back to a step of The REAL Method®, the framework from my USA Today bestselling book REAL Confidence.
As a keynote speaker, I know how much confidence it takes to put yourself out there and walk onto a stage in front of a room full of strangers. The more I do it, the more my confidence grows.
For many women, confidence can feel out of reach. I’m here to tell you it’s a skill you can learn, and you can start this week.
The 7 Confidence-Building Tips at a Glance
- Acknowledge your achievements
- Challenge your negative self-talk
- Step outside your comfort zone
- Surround yourself with supportive people
- Practice assertiveness
- Embrace failure as a learning opportunity
- Celebrate your uniqueness
Why Do So Many Capable Women Doubt Themselves?
Self-doubt shows up even at the top. In a 2020 KPMG study, 75% of executive women said they had experienced imposter syndrome at some point in their careers. That tells me confidence comes from the habits we practice every day, whatever our title.
Confidence begins with believing in yourself, and one of the best ways to build that belief is by owning your strengths. When you own your strengths, you stop obsessing over your weaknesses and stay focused on what you can do.
1. Acknowledge Your Achievements
We all have achievements, but we rarely acknowledge them. Sometimes we even take them for granted.
Being the mother of six kids is an achievement I’m proud of. The world may see motherhood differently, but it’s a lifetime achievement that women should acknowledge over and over again.
Whether you finished a project at work, got through a tough conversation, or simply made it through the day with grace, acknowledge what you accomplished, big and small. It reminds you of what you’re capable of.
Try this: Tonight, write down three things you got done today, including the ones nobody else noticed.
2. Challenge Your Negative Self-Talk
If you’re anything like me, you’re your own worst critic.
Pay attention to how you talk to yourself. If the things you say to yourself are cruel, check yourself. You wouldn’t say those things to your friends, so why are you saying them to yourself?
One tool I use is Ctrl-Alt-Delete. Ctrl: notice the story you’re telling yourself, and ask whether it’s real and whether it’s helpful. Alt: tell yourself a better story, so “What if I fail?” becomes “When I succeed.” Delete: let go of the habits that don’t serve you, like the comparison game.
I promise you’ll see a difference in your confidence when you start seeing yourself through the eyes of grace.
Try this: Drop the Just. Delete the word “just” from your next three emails and notice how differently you sound.
3. Step Outside Your Comfort Zone
Growth and confidence go hand in hand. If you want to build your confidence, try new things, because that’s how growth happens.
Push yourself past your perceived limits by learning a new skill, speaking up in a meeting, getting on a stage, or taking on a leadership role. As you stretch, your capabilities grow, and your confidence grows with them.
This is the heart of Live Without Limits, my keynote for women’s conferences: confidence grows when you take action before you feel ready.
Try this: Say yes to one thing this week that makes you a little nervous.
4. Surround Yourself with Supportive People
Find people who uplift and encourage you in the things you do.
I wouldn’t be the person I am today without my husband and children. They’ve supported me so much through the years, and their belief in me has helped me believe in myself.
I feel the same way about the friends and mentors who rally around me. We all need people who believe in our abilities and support our growth. Find your people.
Try this: Text one person who believes in you and tell them what you’re working on right now.
5. Practice Assertiveness
An important part of confidence is the ability to express your needs, opinions, and boundaries with conviction and clarity.
As women, we sometimes hear that assertiveness is a weakness. But if we aren’t able to express our needs, we can’t be upset when those needs aren’t met. We need to advocate for ourselves at work, set boundaries in our relationships, and speak up for what we believe in.
This skill may feel uncomfortable at first. The more you practice it, the easier it gets, and it strengthens your relationships along the way.
Try this: Before your next important conversation, finish this sentence: “What I really want is…”
6. Embrace Failure as a Learning Opportunity
Failure is an inevitable part of life, and it’s a natural part of the learning process. If we aren’t failing, we aren’t trying.
Don’t let fear of failure hold you back from taking risks and pursuing your goals. Treat every setback as information you can use. Each one is a chance to grow stronger.
Resilience is really just our ability to stare failure in the face and keep moving forward.
Try this: Think of one recent mistake and write down one thing it taught you.
7. Celebrate Your Uniqueness
We are all different and unique. What makes me who I am is different from what makes you who you are, and this world would be a pretty boring place if we were all the same.
Your strengths, talents, and experiences make you special. Own them, embrace them, and use them to build confidence in yourself. When you embrace your authentic self, you radiate confidence and inspire others to do the same.
You are amazing, just the way you are. Never forget that.
Try this: Ask a friend what they see as your greatest strength, and believe what they tell you.
How Do These Tips Connect to The REAL Method®?
Each tip builds one step of The REAL Method®, the four-step framework I teach in my keynotes and in REAL Confidence:
| Tip | Step of The REAL Method® |
|---|---|
| Acknowledge your achievements | Respect Yourself |
| Challenge your negative self-talk | Respect Yourself |
| Celebrate your uniqueness | Respect Yourself |
| Embrace failure as a learning opportunity | Embrace Your Failures |
| Practice assertiveness | Ask Yourself What You Want |
| Surround yourself with supportive people | Live Without Limits |
| Step outside your comfort zone | Live Without Limits |
Building Confidence Is a Journey
Confidence grows through progress, one small step at a time. It’s about owning your strengths, embracing your imperfections, and showing up as your true, authentic self along the way.
I haven’t always been confident, but I’ve always been willing to try. That alone has given me the confidence to step onto every stage.
I promise that if you’re willing to try, you’ll gain the confidence you need to handle whatever life throws at you. Confidence is a skill you build from the inside out, and the journey matters just as much as the destination.
Planning a women’s conference, ERG event, or leadership retreat? My keynote, Live Without Limits, brings these tools to your audience with stories, humor, and practical steps they can use the next day.
