When things go wrong, as they often do, how do you react to it?

We’ve all had those moments—when something goes completely wrong, and panic tries to take over.

Maybe it’s a lost document, a tech failure, a last-minute change, or something important slipping through the cracks.

That gut reaction of frustration, stress, or sheer panic is almost automatic.

But here’s what I’m learning—freaking out doesn’t fix anything.

In fact, it usually makes things worse.

My Own Freak Out Moment

Just this week, I had an experience that could have sent me into a full-blown meltdown.

I had spent two full days writing a brand-new keynote.

It was strong. It was thoughtful. I was excited about it.

And then, in an instant, it disappeared from the screen of the person helping me.

It was gone.

We searched, refreshed, clicked all the buttons we could think of—nothing.

My heart dropped.

For a moment, I felt that rush of panic creeping in.

But then, I stopped myself. I knew that panicking wouldn’t bring it back.

I took a deep breath, stepped away for a second, and started thinking through possible solutions.

And then, I realized—I still had an open tab on my computer.

I quickly took a screenshot, capturing what I could.

Crisis averted.

But what if I had gone into full meltdown mode?

What if I had let frustration take over?

I probably wouldn’t have thought clearly enough to find that open tab.

I might have wasted even more time spiraling instead of searching for a solution.

That moment reinforced something powerful—staying calm is a skill, and it can be learned.

So, how do we keep from freaking out when things go wrong?

How do we train ourselves to stay steady when life throws unexpected challenges our way?

Here are a few things I’ve learned—and am still learning—that might help.

Freaking Out Doesn’t Fix the Problem

This is the first and most important thing to remember.

No amount of stress, yelling, or panicked frustration will undo what just happened.

Freaking out only increases stress, clouds your thinking, and wastes precious time that could be used to find a solution.

Instead of reacting emotionally, pause.

Take a deep breath.

Remind yourself that this is just a situation—it’s not the end of the world.

You will find a way through it.

Give Yourself a Moment to Process

When things go wrong and something frustrating happens, the initial instinct is to react immediately.

That reaction is often fueled by stress, which can lead to poor decision-making.

If you take just a few seconds to pause, breathe, and clear your mind, you’ll be in a much better position to respond wisely.

If necessary, step away from the situation for a moment.

A short reset—even 30 seconds—can help you regain perspective.

Sometimes, that tiny break is all you need to see a possible solution that wasn’t obvious before.

Ask Yourself: “What Can I Control?”

In the case of my lost keynote, I had two choices:

Spiral into frustration and lose even more time.

Take a breath and figure out what I could still do.

The second choice saved me.

I couldn’t control the fact that my document had vanished, but I could control how I responded.

I could troubleshoot.

I could think logically.

I could look for backup options. And sure enough, I found one.

When something goes wrong, shift your focus to what is still within your control.

You might not be able to undo the problem, but there is almost always something you can do next.

Focus on that.

Avoid the “What If” Spiral

One of the biggest reasons people freak out when things go wrong is because their mind starts running through every possible disaster scenario.

What if I can’t recover this?

What if I just wasted two days?

What if this ruins everything?

That kind of thinking doesn’t help. It only makes you more anxious.

Instead, when your mind starts spiraling into “what if” territory, reframe it into “what now?”

Ask yourself:

What’s my next best move?

What are my options?

What resources do I have?

Who can I ask for help?

Shifting your thinking from “what if” to “what now” keeps you solution-focused instead of stress-focused.

Take the Emotion Out of It

This is a tough one, but it’s important.

When something goes wrong, emotions tend to run high—frustration, anger, disappointment, stress.

Those emotions are valid, but they don’t have to control how you respond.

If you can step back and look at the situation objectively, as if you were helping a friend through it instead of experiencing it yourself, it often makes the challenge seem much more manageable.

Think of it this way—if a friend called you in a panic about the same problem, how would you help them?

You’d probably be calm, logical, and reassuring.

 Treat yourself the same way.

Remember That Most Problems Are Temporary

I know it doesn’t always feel like it in the moment, but most issues that seem massive at first are ones you won’t even think about in a few weeks, days, or even hours.

Yes, some challenges are bigger than others, but so many of the things we stress about are just small bumps in the road.

They feel overwhelming when we’re in them, but they pass.

The next time something unexpected happens, ask yourself, “Will this matter a year from now? A month from now? A week from now?”

Chances are, the answer is no.

That perspective alone can help lower your stress levels.

Learn From It and Move On

Even when things don’t go the way we want, there’s always something to learn.

In my case, losing my keynote reminded me to back up my work more frequently.

Next time, I won’t rely on just one version of an important document—I’ll have a system in place to protect it.

Every challenge gives us the opportunity to be better prepared for the next one.

Instead of focusing on the frustration, ask yourself: What can I learn from this? How can I prevent it from happening again?

When you turn a problem into a learning experience, you take power back from the situation.

Trust That Everything Works Out

Even when things go wrong, they often work out in ways we didn’t expect.

I could have lost my keynote entirely—but I didn’t.

I found a way to recover it.

And even if I hadn’t, I could have rewritten it, possibly even improving it in the process.

Sometimes, what feels like a disaster is just a redirection.

What seems like a problem in the moment may turn out to be something you handle just fine—or even something that leads you to something better.

My Challenge to You

Life will always throw us unexpected challenges.

That’s just part of being human.

But the way we handle them makes all the difference.

The next time something goes wrong, don’t freak out.

Pause, breathe, and remind yourself that panic doesn’t solve anything.

Instead, focus on solutions, control what you can, and trust that you will figure it out.

Challenges will come, but so will your ability to handle them.

And every time you choose to stay calm, you build resilience—proving to yourself that no setback, no lost document, and no unexpected twist can truly shake you.

So, the next time you’re faced with a moment of frustration or uncertainty, remind yourself that you’re unshakeable.

Stay calm.

Trust yourself.

And handle it like the strong, capable person you are.