We’re continuing our journey through the REAL Method—and this week, we’re going straight into the one thing most of us try to avoid: failure. But here’s the truth most people won’t say out loud—failure isn’t the end of your story. In fact, it might be the very thing that helps you write your next chapter with more courage, clarity, and confidence.

So, let’s talk about something that makes most of us uncomfortable: failure.

Even the word feels heavy. Final. Like it belongs in a sealed folder labeled “Do Not Open.”

After all, we’ve been taught to fear it. To run from it. To hide it under layers of polish, performance, and positive spin.

However, here’s the truth I’ve learned the hard way: failure isn’t the opposite of success—it’s part of it.

Granted, it’s not the glamorous part. Not the part people post about.

Instead, it’s the part that makes us stronger, clearer, and more grounded.

The Stories We Tell Ourselves

The reality is, we all have stories we carry about what failure means.

Maybe it’s the job you didn’t get. The relationship that ended. The business idea that never took off. Or the moment you didn’t show up the way you hoped to—for your family, your work, or yourself.

For me, some of my hardest failures weren’t the big dramatic ones—they were the quiet ones. The moments I stayed silent when I should’ve spoken up. The times I let fear steer the wheel. The years I doubted my own voice.

And I’ll be honest: it took me a long time to realize that those moments weren’t proof that I wasn’t good enough.
On the contrary, they were proof that I was growing.

What Failure Actually Does

Failure gets a bad reputation, but it’s one of the best teachers we’ll ever have—if we let it be.

First, it forces us to slow down and get honest. Then, it asks hard questions:
What mattered most?
What didn’t work?
What can I do differently next time?

And ultimately, it gives us the one thing success never can: depth.

Sure, anyone can pretend to have it all together when things are easy.

But who are you when things fall apart?

That’s where resilience is built. That’s where clarity lives.
And that’s where confidence—the kind that lasts—starts to take root.

A Personal Shift

For a long time, I used to avoid talking about failure. I’d skip over the messy middle and fast-forward to the happy ending.

But somewhere along the way, I realized that the most powerful parts of my story weren’t the highlight moments—they were the lowlights. The mistakes. The pivots. The learning.

Take, for example, the time I gave a speech that completely flopped. I knew it the moment I walked off stage—I had overprepared, over-polished, and completely under-connected.

At first, I remember feeling embarrassed. Frustrated. Like I wanted to hide.

But I also remember what happened afterward: I got feedback. I listened, I rewrote, I showed up again.
And the next time I spoke, I felt more grounded. More me.

That failure didn’t break me—it shaped me.
And every “mess-up” since has become part of the reason I speak the way I do now—with realness, not performance.

The REAL Reason This Matters

In a world obsessed with perfection, embracing failure is an act of rebellion.

We’re surrounded by curated success stories and filtered lives, and it’s easy to believe we’re the only ones stumbling through.

But the people who inspire us most? They’re not the ones who never fall.
They’re the ones who fall, get back up, and tell the truth about it.

Embracing your failures doesn’t mean you love them. It means you learn from them. It means you stop letting them define your worth.

Because your worth was never tied to the outcome: it’s tied to the effort, the intention, and the heart you brought to it.

Letting Go of the Shame

We don’t talk enough about the shame that can linger after we fail.

The loop of thoughts:
“Why didn’t I know better?”
“Why couldn’t I make it work?”
“What’s wrong with me?”

But here’s what I’ve come to believe: Shame keeps us stuck.
Reflection moves us forward.

The goal isn’t to pretend the failure didn’t happen; but, the goal is to reframe it.
To say, This didn’t go the way I wanted—but here’s what it taught me.
Here’s how it’s shaping the next version of me.

That’s not weakness. That’s wisdom.

What Embracing Failure Looks Like

Sometimes it looks like taking responsibility and apologizing—even when it’s uncomfortable.

At times it looks like walking away from something that isn’t working—even when you’ve poured your heart into it.

Sometimes it looks like sitting in the discomfort for a while, letting yourself feel it, and still deciding to move forward.

It can look like showing up for the interview after a rejection.
Or making the phone call you’ve been avoiding.
Or simply saying to yourself, I did the best I could with what I had. And next time, I’ll do it differently.

But other times, it just looks like not giving up; we’re conditioned to think success is a straight line.

But real success? It’s made of loops, scrapped drafts, hard conversations, and also quiet starts.

Failure doesn’t make you broken. It makes you real.

And when you embrace that part of your story, you stop hiding from your life—and start stepping into it.

A Note to Anyone Who’s In It Right Now

If you’re in the middle of something hard right now—something that feels like a failure—please hear this:

You are not your mistakes.
You are not behind.
And you are absolutely not alone.

You are becoming.

And becoming isn’t always neat or graceful.
Sometimes it looks like breaking down, rebuilding, rethinking, and trying again.
It looks like messy middle chapters that don’t make sense until later.

But it’s worth it.

Because every time you choose to keep going—to grow instead of give up—you’re writing a story rooted in resilience.

And that kind of story?
That’s the kind people remember.
That’s the kind that makes you strong.
And more than that, it makes you real.