Ask any HR leader what they want most from their teams, and resilience is almost always on the list. The ability to absorb change, stay steady under pressure, and keep moving forward when things get hard. It sounds simple. But if you’ve ever tried to build it intentionally inside an organization, you know it’s anything but.
I didn’t learn about resilience in a boardroom. I learned it standing over a stove with my daughter Mili strapped to my back.
The First Weeks Home
We adopted our daughter, Mili, from Ethiopia when she was two years old. When Mili first came home, she couldn’t bear to be away from me. Not for a moment. Every time I cooked, she had to be in a carrier on my back. When we went to sleep, she slept on top of me. Not beside me. On me. For about a month, that was our normal.
The next month, we moved her to a pack and play right next to our bed. She could still see me. She knew I was there. From there, she transitioned into our oldest daughter’s room, sleeping in a pack and play beside her sister, still in sight of someone safe. And then finally, when she was ready, she moved into her own room.
Today, Mili is probably the best sleeper in our entire family.
What This Has to Do With Your Team
We didn’t get there with one big dramatic breakthrough. There was no single moment where everything shifted. It was small steps, done consistently, with patience and intention. We stayed steady, we didn’t rush her to where we wanted her to be. We met her where she was and built from there.
That is exactly how resilience works inside organizations.
HR and people leaders spend a lot of energy looking for the big intervention. The keynote that shifts culture. The offsite that realigns the team. The training that finally gets people to think differently. And those things can matter. But real resilience doesn’t come from a single exclamation point. It comes from what you do a little bit at a time, over and over again, without giving up.
Three Lessons That Transfer Directly to the Workplace
1. Meet people where they are, not where you want them to be.
Mili didn’t need to sleep in her own room on day one. She needed proximity, safety, and time. Employees going through change, new managers finding their footing, or teams navigating uncertainty need the same. Pushing people past their current capacity doesn’t build resilience. It erodes trust. Start where they are and build from there.
2. Consistency builds more confidence than intensity.
Every night, Mili knew I’d be there. That predictability is what gave her the safety to take the next small step forward. Your team needs the same kind of consistency from leadership. Regular check-ins, clear expectations, and steady communication do more for team resilience than any single high-energy initiative.
3. Stay with it even when progress is invisible.
There were weeks with Mili where nothing seemed to be shifting. We hadn’t moved yet. But something was happening underneath the surface. Teams in the middle of a difficult transition look exactly the same way. The growth isn’t always visible in the short term. The leaders who stay steady during that invisible phase are the ones who eventually see the breakthrough.
Resilience Is a Practice, Not a Program
One of the biggest mistakes organizations make is treating resilience like a one-time training event. You can’t build it in a workshop. You build it through the everyday decisions leaders make: how they respond to setbacks, how they communicate during uncertainty, how they model recovery instead of perfection.
If you want a resilient team, start by asking: are we creating conditions where people feel safe enough to take the next small step? Are we staying consistent even when it’s hard? Are we measuring progress in inches instead of miles?
Mili needed presence, patience, and a path forward that didn’t overwhelm her. Your team needs you to show up, stay steady, and trust the process.
The best sleeper in our house got there one small step at a time. Your most resilient team will too.
