Today is Thanksgiving Day and I look forward to all the important conversations we are going to have around the dinner table.
Thanksgiving is a time when we are grateful for the things around us. And although I truly believe we should be grateful all of the time, Thanksgiving makes you truly think about what you’re grateful for in the moment.
One of the things I am most grateful for is the relationships that I have with all of my children.
Each one is unique and different, and I love everything about them—even the hard stuff.
This Thanksgiving, I’m excited for those meaningful conversations we will have together.
We Need to Have the Important Conversations
As a mom, I have realized the value of having important conversations with my children—conversations that will make a difference in my life and theirs.
To me, the most important conversations are those that lead them to be confident in who they are.
As parents, we often think about the importance of modeling behavior for our children.
We talk about things like not swearing in front of our kids when they are little.
We do our best not to drink in front of them. And we make sure that they have really great study habits in school.
But what about having those meaningful conversations about self-love and self-respect?
I truly believe that the most important thing that we can teach our children is to love themselves for exactly who they are.
We need to teach them that no matter who they are or what they look like, they are perfect exactly as they are.
And that they don’t need to fit inside some kind of box in order to feel valued and loved.
Talk About the Pitfalls of Social Media
While social media is a great way to connect with others, it can also be a huge detriment to our children.
In our world today, kids are so caught up in social media.
They want to know what everyone else is doing. And they want to look like that air-brushed supermodel that continuously shows up on their feed.
This constant barrage of fake poses and touched-up photos is damaging to our kids’ confidence.
It is taking a toll on their ability to see themselves positively and is negatively affecting their self-esteem.
The Dove Self-Esteem Project surveyed 1000 girls ages 10 to 17. And one in ten girls said that toxic beauty advice on social media was the cause of low self-esteem.
Sadly, 90% of girls say they follow one or more social media accounts that make them feel less beautiful.
That means that nine out of ten girls are being influenced by something or someone that is constantly stealing their confidence!
And we are okay with this?
This is why those important conversations are vital to the mental health and well-being of our children.
The most interesting statistic that came from that survey was that 80% of girls would like their parents to talk to them and teach them how to manage toxic beauty advice on social media.
Did you get that?
Our Children Want the Important Conversations
Four out of five girls would like their parents to talk to them and help them know how to manage toxic media.
Think about that.
All too often, we think that teenagers don’t want our advice.
But not only do they want it—they need it.
And the most important advice we can give them is to teach them how to love themselves.
We can teach them to stop comparing themselves to others.
This is especially true on social media, where we are comparing our worst parts to someone else’s best.
We can teach them to love themselves.
And we can teach them to be proud of exactly who they are.
Because they matter—and we need to tell them so.
I think that sometimes we overlook this. But we need to have a direct and honest conversation about accepting yourself for who you are.
So, when was the last time you had this important conversation with one of your children?
When was the last time you had this important conversation with yourself?
Be Open and Honest and Speak with Love
One of the things I’ve realized about my relationship with my daughters is that they appreciate that I am open and honest with them about the things I believe are important.
I have real conversations with them, and I put it all out there in an open but loving way.
Instead of trying to sugar-coat things, I tell them like it is.
And if I see something, I say something. I don’t let it pass.
If they have a negative attitude, I make sure to address it.
On the flip side, I constantly see the good in them and tell them about it.
I truly believe that’s why I’ve had such a good relationship with all of my kids.
Of course, if you were to look back through time, I was constantly making mistakes. And I parented each child differently because each child was different.
But with each one of my children, we still made sure to have those important conversations.
Take Time This Holiday Season to Have the Important Conversations
I hope that as you gather around the table today, you find the time to have those important conversations.
I hope that you open up that channel of communication, and help each child know they are enough exactly as they are.
Most of all, I hope you love them so deeply that they can’t help but love themselves.
The beauty of having the important conversations with our children is that when the voice of the world tries to drown out their own voice, our voice will be the voice in their head, reminding them that they are enough.
As we lift and strengthen our children to navigate life’s challenges through meaningful conversations, they will become a powerful force for good in the world.
And they will then become that positive voice for others.
