If we were sitting in a room right now, how many of you would raise your hand if I asked you if you struggled with self-doubt?
Research shows that over 85% of people suffer from self-doubt.
But in actuality, it’s probably more like 100% of people struggle with self-doubt.
We may not struggle all the time, but we all have moments of self-doubt.
What’s interesting about self-doubt is that a lot of times, the people around you won’t even realize that you’re struggling with it.
That was definitely the case for me.
I had six kids. I had a great marriage and still do. But I really struggled to believe in myself.
No matter what I did, I didn’t feel like I was making a difference in the world.
I get that a lot of times, our self-doubt stems from what we put on ourselves. But it is also what society places on us.
For me, self-doubt began when I was a teenager.
When I look back at my life, I can pinpoint when it was that I began to doubt myself.
I was dating a not-so-nice guy at the time. And he really said horrible things to me.
Since that time, anytime I made a decision, I really struggled with it.
In my mind, I would ask myself, “Am I making the right decision? Am I worthy of this?”
All of these negative thoughts and emotions would go through my head every time I was faced with a decision—and even when I wasn’t.
But from the outside looking in, everyone thought, “Oh my gosh, Simone has the perfect life. She totally has herself together. She has six kids, she volunteers, and she does all these different things.”
They had no idea what was going on inside my head.
The truth is, I struggled to believe in myself for a very long time.
I tried so many different things in life because I didn’t know what I really wanted.
Most of that not knowing came because I didn’t believe in myself and doubted what I could actually do.
I remember being at a luncheon where I sat next to a woman who was the CEO of a big corporation.
She asked me what I did, and at the time, I was a stay-at-home mom.
When I told her I was a stay-at-home mom, her response was, “I can’t imagine anything worse!”
When you hear things like this, it’s really hard to feel good about yourself unless you already believe in yourself.
I’ve learned to get rid of the noise.
I have had a very supportive husband through the years. And my children have been equally supportive.
I am grateful for their encouragement and love. And I appreciate how they have strengthened me.
As for the negative voices of others, I’ve had to get rid of the noise and stop listening to what anybody else has to say.
Letting go of the negativity of others has really helped me to move forward in my life’s journey and to let go of my own self-doubt.
Now, I’m not saying that it’s easy.
I’m sure that letting go is something we all struggle with.
But we need to take time and thoughtfully ask ourselves, “Does what they say really matter? I know who I am, so why am I doubting myself?”
One thing I love to say to my kids is, “If you don’t ask, you’ll never know. And the answer will always be no.”
When we recognize what we’re feeling and acknowledge where it’s coming from, it’s much easier to cut through the noise.
It’s important we focus on who we actually are.
We don’t need to change ourselves for anybody else.
Instead, we need to spend time looking inside and reminding ourselves that we deserve respect.
Tell yourself, “I deserve to have the life that I want to live.”
Above all, we have to stop letting the negative voices inside our heads take control of the situation.
When we talk about our self-doubt and the things we can’t do or compare ourselves to others, we are self-sabotaging ourselves.
Sadly, oftentimes, we aren’t even aware that we’re doing it.
We need to really become aware of how we feel.
I think that the best way to overcome self-sabotage is to understand how we feel about ourselves and try not to overthink things.
Whether we like it or not, life is about uncertainty, so we need to be okay with who we are and whatever we may face.
This may seem challenging, but we really need to understand and master our own emotions if we are going to overcome our self-doubt.
Remember that growth is uncomfortable. If it were easy, everybody would be doing it.
Really taking a moment to pause and reflect can help us put things back into perspective.
Ask yourself, “Am I overthinking this? Am I making this a bigger issue than it really is?”
When we are aware of how we feel and ask ourselves these questions, it can really help to put us back on track. And we are more able to believe in ourselves and our abilities.
Remember your mirror moments.
Even though my self-doubt is much less the older I get, I still practice my mirror moments.
Every morning, I look in the mirror and remind myself of what I am capable of.
I understand that I still tend to self-sabotage myself by overthinking things.
However, because I am aware of this tendency, I’m able to shift my mindset in a positive way.
This is something we can all do.
Instead of letting doubts creep in, we need to think about all the good things we can do in this world.
We need to believe in ourselves and our abilities.
Then, we need to let go of our doubts and get to work.