Become a parent, they said.
It will be fun, they said.
But what they don’t tell you is how hard being a parent really is.
Don’t get me wrong, being a mom is the best thing I’ve done in my life, other than marrying my husband.
Being a wife and mother are definitely the top two things on my list as far as the best life choices are concerned.
But geez Louise, this is a really hard job!
When you become a parent, worry is constant.
My daughter, Olivia, has Crohn’s disease.
When we first learned of her disease, it required a whole new way of living. We wanted to help her feel comfortable and capable.
We also wanted her to feel supported and loved as she navigated her new reality.
Through trial and error, we were able to find a medication that really works wonders for Olivia’s Crohn’s disease.
This medication has been a life-changer for her in so many ways.
Because of her injections, Olivia is able to live her best life. And I will be forever grateful for the miracles of modern medicine.
It has helped take some of the worry away from me as a parent because I know she’s doing well when she’s on it.
But, sadly, additional stress comes into play because it’s a fight to get the medication when she needs it.
When you become a parent, you have to be armed for battle.
When my kids were young, the battles seemed small.
Of course, there was a battle in the mornings to get them out of bed or a battle to get them the support they needed in school.
But I could fight those battles and feel that I was getting somewhere.
But the older they get, the bigger the battles. Sometimes, I feel like I’m just going around in circles.
Today, I spent two and a half hours on the phone with our insurance company.
Because of Olivia’s disease, the medication is expensive, so the insurance doesn’t like to pay for the injections she has to get.
Even though these injections have changed her life, like she absolutely needs them—it’s a fight to get them to pay for them.
Luckily, because they are so expensive, Olivia has a copay assistance card for this specific medication that helps offset the cost.
So today, I called the pharmacy, the insurance company, and the copay assistance.
And between the three of them, each one had a different amount of what they think they paid or what they received.
Getting them to do anything is nearly impossible.
When you become a parent, you are going to get frustrated.
I’m not one who is prone to frustrations, but as a parent, sometimes frustration is inevitable.
This is especially true when it comes to making sure my kids have the things they need and are being treated fairly.
It’s so frustrating to me when I feel like I’m being given the runaround without getting the answers and help we need.
All I want is to get the medication my child needs so she can function and live a normal life.
But today, the frustration mounted because of the sheer ridiculousness of it all.
All I could think at the moment was, “Oh my gosh, this is what parenting has become: spending hours on the phone dealing with bills.”
I know that’s not really what it’s become.
But I often feel like I am battling with people who really don’t have my child’s welfare in mind.
And sometimes, that can be incredibly frustrating.
That was just part one of my day.
You are going to experience things that just don’t make sense.
Part two of my day began before I was even off the phone with the insurance company.
While I was on hold, one of my other kids walked into the house looking distraught.
He said he had a “situation” at school with one of his teachers, and he ended up throwing his phone on the floor.
First of all, he obviously shouldn’t have had his phone out while he was in school. And I’m not exactly sure where the confusion lies in that.
So, of course, that was the first thing I said to him.
He tried to bring it back to something else that was happening in his life, but I told him it had nothing to do with why he got in trouble.
“If you have your phone out, put it away,” I said. “It should never come out. But second of all, it should never be thrown on the floor.”
Honestly, I can’t even think of the reasoning behind what happened. It just doesn’t make sense to me.
But sometimes, days are just like that when you become a parent.
When you become a parent, there will be hard days.
If you’re anything like me, when you become a parent, there will be days that are just tough.
Parenting is the most rewarding and the most difficult job I have ever had.
It cracks me up sometimes because it doesn’t matter how much experience I have, or how much I know—my kids still question me.
I guess that questioning is part of human nature.
But it often seems that I am just the person who does the dishes and washes the laundry for everyone else in the house.
My favorite is when my kids tell me they have no clean clothes for school.
I remind them that we have a washing machine and that I have taught them how to use it.
When clothes don’t get brought downstairs, they don’t get washed. It’s really that simple.
But it becomes a huge problem somehow.
I can’t be the only one who deals with this ridiculousness on a regular basis.
And to be honest, I’m sure I was just as ridiculous when I was a child.
My Mom used to say to me, “I hope you have ten kids just like you.”
Well, I did pretty good—I had six.
So now I’m getting it six times over, and some days are just hard.
But I still wouldn’t change it.
The days that challenge you will only make you stronger.
Even with all the challenges that come when you become a parent, I wouldn’t change my life for the world or anything in it.
I love being a mom.
The days that challenge me only make me stronger and the good days become that much sweeter.
The hard days may cause me to lose my hair, but that’s just part of life.
We need to embrace all parts of being a mom—the good, the bad, and the ugly. Because there are very few days that go by without experiencing all three.
As my kids get older, the problems just change.
Instead of tantrums over not getting an ice cream cone, it’s now about relationships, finances, life in general, and job choices.
As parents, we’re never going to cease to worry for the welfare of our children. That’s just how it works.
The ultimate goal is that I want my kids to be happy, good humans, and to respect themselves and others.
So when they say you should have a kid and that parenting is fun, they’re not wrong.
The challenge is that kids don’t come with a handbook. So, we’re all just figuring it out as we go.
My advice to you is the same as all those who have come before.
Have a kid! It will be fun!
When you become a parent, it will be the greatest adventure you will ever have.
For me, having children has been the adventure of a lifetime—one I would never want to miss.
