I started writing my second book, Real Confidence, on June 3, 2023.
Not in January. Not at the start of a new year. Just a regular day when I finally stopped waiting and decided to begin.
That date matters to me because it reminds me of something we forget far too often. Real change does not require a fresh calendar or a symbolic reset. It requires a decision. And that decision can be made on any day of the year.
Why We Keep Waiting for January
Every January, we hear the same message. New year, new you. It sounds hopeful. It sounds motivating. It promises a clean slate and a fresh start.
And yet, year after year, it rarely works.
According to Forbes, only 8 percent of people actually keep their New Year’s resolutions through the year. Most start with good intentions and quietly fall off, often within weeks.
https://www.forbes.com/sites/dandiamond/2013/01/01/just-8-of-people-achieve-their-new-years-resolutions-heres-how-they-did-it/
What is just as telling is that fewer people are even making resolutions at all. Research from Drive Research shows that only about 30 percent of Americans make a New Year’s resolution, meaning most people have opted out of the tradition entirely.
https://www.driveresearch.com/market-research-company-blog/new-years-resolutions-statistics/
Not because people do not want to change, but because they already know how this usually goes.
When Waiting Feels Safer Than Starting
When we say, “I’ll start in the new year,” what we are often really saying is, “I’m not ready to do this right now.”
Waiting feels safer. It gives us permission to stay where we are while convincing ourselves that change is coming. It sounds responsible. It sounds thoughtful. But more often than not, it is procrastination disguised as planning.
Nobody benefits when we delay changing our habits. Not our confidence. Not our health. Not our sense of self trust. When we push change into the future, we quietly reinforce the idea that our needs can wait.
The Problem With Big Promises
I have made New Year’s resolutions. Plenty of them.
I remember declaring that I was going to start going to the gym every day. I went three times. Maybe four. And then it stopped. Not because I did not care, but because the goal was unrealistic from the start.
The issue was never motivation. The issue was setting a giant promise instead of a commitment I could actually keep.
When we aim too big too fast, we set ourselves up for disappointment. And when we quit, we do not just drop the habit. We lose a little trust in ourselves too.
How Small Steps Build Real Confidence
If you do not go to the gym at all, committing to going every day is not brave. It is unrealistic.
A more respectful goal might be once a week. That may not sound impressive, but it is powerful. Because once a week is something you can follow through on. And follow through builds trust.
Small steps are not weak. They are strategic. They create momentum. Giant declarations often create guilt.
Why Self Respect Changes Everything
Self respect is not about being perfect or disciplined all the time. It is about keeping the promises you make to yourself.
This is the foundation of the first step of my REAL Method™, Respect Yourself. Confidence grows through consistency. Every time you keep a promise to yourself, no matter how small, you strengthen self trust. Every time you break one, that trust weakens.
This is why so many resolutions fail. They are built on pressure instead of respect.
Change That Actually Sticks
Change that lasts is change you choose.
We do hard things all the time when they matter. We show up for work. We meet deadlines. We take care of other people. The issue is not capability. The issue is clarity.
Figure out what you truly want. Then commit to that. Not because it sounds good, but because it matters to you.
Making Time Means Taking It Seriously
For me, anything I want to do consistently goes on my calendar. If it is not scheduled, it does not happen. Period.
That includes self care. Especially self care. We cannot keep telling ourselves we will get to it someday and then wonder why we feel depleted.
Do I still procrastinate sometimes? Absolutely. The difference is that now I recognize when I am waiting instead of choosing.
You Can Decide Today
You do not need January to make a change. You do not need a perfect plan. You do not need to become a different person overnight.
You need one honest decision today.
One small promise you are willing to keep.
Confidence is not built through dramatic resets. It is built quietly, in ordinary moments, when you show up for yourself even when no one is watching.
So if there is something you have been waiting to change, ask yourself this:
What is one small thing I can do today that future me will thank me for?
Start there. Put it on your calendar. Keep the promise.
That is how real change begins.
Ready to Start Now?
If this idea of choosing yourself sooner rather than later resonates, it is at the heart of my upcoming book, Real Confidence. It is about building self trust, keeping promises to yourself, and learning how to stop waiting for the “right time” to become the person you already know you can be.
You can preorder Real Confidence here:
https://realconfidencebook.com
Sometimes the smallest decision, made today, changes everything.
