For years, people looked at me and saw a mom of six who had it all together. A full house, a full calendar, and everything handled. Whenever anyone asked how I was doing, I had the same answer: “I’m fine.”
What I didn’t say was how I actually felt. When my friend Jaime Marco shared what FINE really stands for, it was a true aha moment for me: Freaked out, Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotional. That was exactly what my “fine” meant.
I never felt like I was allowed to struggle out loud. So I did what so many of us do. I kept going. I kept showing up, kept smiling, and kept saying “fine,” while I was quietly running on empty.
Today there’s a name for what I was doing: quiet cracking. And it’s happening on teams everywhere. Researchers at TalentLMS found that 54% of employees experience some level of it, and 20% feel it frequently or constantly. People keep showing up, keep delivering, and keep smiling on camera, while their engagement drains a little more every week.
This Friday, October 10, is World Mental Health Day. The World Federation for Mental Health chose this year’s theme: “Lived Experiences Heard: Real Voices, Real Change.” I can’t think of a better reminder for leaders. Quiet cracking stays quiet because people don’t feel safe saying what’s really going on.
Why it’s costing you more than you think
Quiet cracking hides well. Output looks steady for months. By the time it shows up in missed targets, rising turnover, or a surprise resignation, the damage is already done.
The numbers back this up. Employees who are quietly cracking are 152% more likely to feel undervalued at work. Gallup found that only 31% of U.S. employees were engaged in 2025.
Every disengaged person on your team represents a gap between potential and performance, and that gap is where profit quietly leaks out.
How the REAL Method® helps you catch it early
R: Respect Yourself. Your team watches what you do far more closely than what you say. If you never take a break, answer emails at midnight, and call exhaustion “dedication,” your people will follow your lead. Respecting yourself out loud gives them permission to do the same.
E: Embrace Your Failures. Teams that can name a mistake openly can also name stress openly. Go first. Share a time you struggled and what you learned. That one moment of honesty makes it safer for someone else to raise a hand before they crack.
A: Ask Yourself What You Want. Then ask your team. Feeling stuck and unsure about growth is one of the biggest drivers of quiet cracking. A simple question like “What do you want to be doing a year from now?” tells people you see a future for them.
L: Live Without Limits. Invest in growth. Employees who received training in the past year feel 140% more secure in their roles. Development is one of the fastest ways to turn a quietly cracking employee into a confident, high performer.
Three things to try this week
- Ask a better question. Swap “How are you?” for “What’s one thing making your week harder than it needs to be?” You’ll get a real answer instead of an automatic “fine.”
- Run a team Ctrl-Alt-Delete. This simple reset helps your team catch the thinking that holds it back. Ctrl is awareness: notice the story the team is telling itself about a project or goal, then ask, “Is it real? Is it helpful?” Most of the time, the answer is no. Alt is the alternative: tell a better story together, so “What if this fails?” becomes “What happens when we succeed?” Delete is letting go: clear out the habits and beliefs that don’t serve the team, like the comparison game or the fear that you’re not enough for the challenge.
- Notice the quiet ones. Watch for cameras that stay off, ideas that stop coming, and people who used to push back and now just nod. Check in privately and listen more than you talk.
Real voices create real change
World Mental Health Day is a great reason to start this conversation, and the best leaders keep it going all year. When your people feel heard, they bring their full confidence to work. That’s how you build a team that performs at its peak.
I still think about all the times I said “I’m fine” and hoped nobody would look closer. I wish someone had. That’s what I want for you as a leader. The next time someone on your team tells you they’re fine, get curious about which kind of FINE they mean.
And let me ask you: when’s the last time you said “I’m fine” and didn’t mean it?
Want to build a team where real voices get heard and performance follows? Learn more about The Confident Leader keynote at simoneknego.com.
Sources: TalentLMS research via The Interview Guys · AOL on quiet cracking and Gallup engagement · World Federation for Mental Health, 2026 theme
