Let’s be honest—we’re living in a world where it’s harder than ever to know what’s real. The concept of authenticity has become increasingly elusive in today’s society.

Between perfectly curated social media feeds, airbrushed influencers, AI-generated everything, and news headlines we don’t know whether to trust, reality has become… complicated.

And it’s exhausting.

We scroll through highlight reels and forget they’re not real life.

We compare our behind-the-scenes to someone else’s polished performance and wonder why we feel like we’re falling behind.

We start questioning ourselves—not just how we look, but who we are and whether we’re doing enough.

But here’s the thing: we’re not falling behind—we’re just surrounded by illusions.

So the question becomes: how do we stay real in a world that constantly pushes the fake?

The Pressure to Perform

I’ll admit it—I’ve felt the pressure to show up polished.

As a speaker, author, and mom of six, people often assume I have it all figured out. I don’t.

I’ve second-guessed my choices. I’ve doubted myself.

I’ve looked at a picture of my own life and wondered if I’m just playing a role instead of actually living it.

Sometimes, it feels like everyone else got the rulebook on how to look confident, successful, and put-together, and I’m just over here winging it with a to-do list, an overflowing inbox, and a forgotten load of laundry.

When everything around us is filtered and edited, it starts to affect how we see ourselves.

It’s easy to feel like authenticity isn’t enough.

But here’s the truth: “real” is what people are craving.

Not the gloss, not the performance—just truth. Just you.

Because the truth connects. The truth lasts.

Why It Matters

When we’re not real, we disconnect. From ourselves. From each other. From what actually matters.

We smile through hard moments. We pretend we’re fine when we’re not. We keep performing because it feels safer than admitting we’re human.

But the cost of that performance? It’s steep.

It keeps us from real connection. REAL confidence. Real joy.

It also keeps us stuck in a loop—believing that if we just worked harder, looked better, smiled more, or said less, we’d finally measure up.

And here’s the deeper truth: when we hide the parts of ourselves we think are “too much” or “not enough,” we lose access to the very things that make us powerful.

Our stories. Our grit. Our growth.

When you look around and think everyone else has it figured out, just know—they don’t.

Most people are carrying quiet fears, hidden insecurities, and unspoken struggles.

Being real doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human. And that is what builds trust.

And maybe that’s why I created the REAL Method in the first place—to offer something that cuts through the noise and brings us back to ourselves.

REAL stands for:
Respect You-rself
Embrace your failures
Ask yourself what you want
Live without limits

It’s not about perfection—it’s about honesty.

It’s about showing up with intention.

It’s about building a life that feels aligned—even when no one else is watching.

And maybe, in today’s world, that’s the boldest thing we can be.

Respecting You-rself

Let’s start with that first one—Respect You-rself.

How often do we look at ourselves—physically, emotionally, spiritually—and pick apart what we see?

We try to measure up to an impossible standard instead of honoring the truth of who we are.

We internalize messages that say “be smaller,” “do more,” “look better,” “try harder.”

And we carry those messages like bricks in our pockets—quietly, constantly weighing us down.

But REAL confidence doesn’t come from looking perfect. It comes from looking inward and saying:
“I’m enough. Even with the flaws. Especially with the flaws.”

Respecting yourself means acknowledging your worth before the world gives you permission.

It’s choosing to speak kindly to yourself, to honor your needs, to stop apologizing for taking up space.

Sometimes it’s as simple as not shrinking to make someone else more comfortable. Other times, it’s a quiet decision to let yourself rest without guilt.

Because when we stop chasing the illusion, we start reclaiming our power.

Not just the power to be seen—but the power to belong to ourselves.

Getting Honest About the Messy Parts

The other day, Olivia and I were recording an episode of our podcast, and we completely lost our train of thought mid-conversation. We could’ve paused, edited it out, or started over. But instead, we just… laughed.

We owned the moment—messy, unscripted, and totally authentic.

That’s how we try to show up every time: honest, human, and present.

And I think people can feel that. Because the most powerful moments aren’t always the polished ones.

They’re the moments where we say, “same here,” or “me too,” or even just… “yeah, this is hard.”

Because when we’re willing to be real, it creates space for others to do the same.

That’s the magic of authenticity—it invites connection. It reminds people they’re not alone. And it makes the conversation so much richer.

A Real Life is an Imperfect One

Here’s what I’ve come to believe: a real life is an imperfect one.

It’s not edited. It’s not always tidy. It’s made of ups and downs, lessons and laughter, breakthroughs and breakdowns.

It’s forgetting what you were going to say and laughing anyway.

It’s the long talks with your kids that don’t go as planned—but end up mattering more than you thought.

It’s crying in the car, then collecting yourself for that meeting.

It’s saying “I don’t know” and meaning it.

It’s asking for a do-over.

It’s starting again. And again. And again.

And somehow, it’s those imperfect moments that end up being the most beautiful.

They’re the ones that shape us. Ground us. Remind us we’re alive.

Practical Ways to Get More Real

So how do we start getting real when the world around us keeps showing us fake?

Here are a few simple ways I try to practice realness in my own life:

• Pause before posting. Am I sharing this because it’s true—or because it looks good?
  
• Check in with myself. What do I actually want right now—not what I think I should want?
  
• Have real conversations. The kind where we talk about what’s actually going on—not just what’s going well.
  
• Call out the filter. When something feels fake, I name it. That awareness alone helps.
  
• Practice compassion. For myself. For others. For the mess we all carry behind the scenes.

Real isn’t about being raw all the time or sharing every struggle.

It’s about alignment—being who you are, even when no one’s watching.

And when you practice that kind of honesty, something shifts.

You begin to feel lighter. Braver. More at home in your own skin.

Staying Real in an Unreal World

The truth is, being real takes courage.

It’s easier to perform than to be vulnerable. Easier to blend in than to stand in your truth.

But the more we show up as ourselves—the messy, beautiful, evolving versions—the more permission we give others to do the same.

Authenticity isn’t loud. It doesn’t need a spotlight.

It’s in the quiet decision to be honest when pretending would be easier.

It’s in the way we speak to ourselves when no one else is listening.

There’s power in that.

Because the most meaningful connections, the deepest confidence, and the truest version of success?

They don’t come from looking perfect. They come from being real.

And real doesn’t mean you’ve figured everything out.

It just means you’re showing up as you are—and trusting that it’s enough.

So no matter what the world tries to tell you—about how you should look, feel, parent, perform, or live—just know this:

You don’t have to be anything other than who you already are.

And that?

That’s more than enough.