Your truth is not the truth.

What would you say if I told you your truth isn’t actually always the truth?

That may hit you the wrong way, but let me explain.

Last year, I bought my daughter a calendar with the title Unf*** Yourself.

The calendar gives quotes and ideas each day to help you get out of a rut.

Every time we record a podcast episode together, she reads the quote of the day from her calendar.

Today’s quote hit me in a very impactful way. It simply said, “Your truth is not the truth.”

These words are pretty powerful when you look at them from the perspective of how we see ourselves.

We focus too much on the negative.

When we look at ourselves in the mirror, we are constantly seeing the negative.

The words we use to describe ourselves are often negative and contrary.

And when we think about ourselves, we are cruel and lack compassion.

Why is it that we struggle to see the good in ourselves?

How is it that we are unable to give ourselves a compliment?

And why do we rarely think happy thoughts about ourselves?

We can do all these things for other people, but it’s very hard for us to do, think, or say something good about ourselves.

We need to show love to ourselves.

Too often, when we say something good about ourselves, we see it as bragging, so we just won’t do it.

But in reality, it’s not bragging—it’s showing love for yourself.

In the end, other people’s opinions of us don’t really matter. The opinion that matters the most is the opinion we have about ourselves.

Why?

Because as author Rupi Kaur said, “How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you.”

If we struggle to love ourselves, we are teaching others that they don’t have to love us, either.

After all, we can’t expect others to give us something that we are withholding from ourselves.

But when we are able to see the actual truth of who we are, it makes loving ourselves so much easier.

Our truth is what we tell ourselves.

The idea that “your truth is not your truth” really hit home for me.

Maybe it’s because I am currently writing my second book about how to love the woman in the mirror, and this quote helped me see things in a new light.

When we look in the mirror, we see all the things we don’t like about ourselves. And we think that’s what other people see as well.

But in reality, when other people see us, they don’t see us the same way we see ourselves.

Think about it: how often do you go around pointing out all the things you hate about other people? It’s just not something we do when we’re trying to be good humans.

Kind humans look for the good in others and give encouragement and compliments. There are very few people in this world who make it a point to point out another person’s flaws.

Yet, we think that all the flaws we see in ourselves are what other people are laser-focused on, too. But that’s simply not the truth.

What we think is our truth is really not the actual truth.

Our truth is what we tell ourselves.

So, if the truth is what we tell ourselves, we need to start changing the narrative.

You are better than you think you are.

I bet if you were to list out all the kind and generous things you have done for others, your list would be quite extensive.

We need to treat ourselves with the same kindness and generosity we give to others.

Because we really are better than we think we are. And we need to start treating ourselves the way we deserve to be treated.

We need to start telling ourselves nicer things, and we need to start seeing ourselves differently.

This is across the board, not just when we look at ourselves in the mirror.

Start reminding yourself how capable and smart you are. Begin appreciating the work you do and see the good you are doing as a parent, friend, spouse, and sibling.

We need to stop focusing on all the things we are doing wrong and start seeing the things that we are doing right in our lives.

Because this is the truth that other people see.

Others can see the good you do and the good human you are. Isn’t it about time you actually see in yourself what others see in you?

Allow yourself to see the truth.

For many years, I really couldn’t see what other people saw when they looked at me.

Any time someone gave me a compliment, I couldn’t accept it.

When someone said something nice to me, instead of saying thank you, I always had something negative to say.

Rather than accepting the compliment, I would push it away and negate the truth they saw in me with the flaws I saw in myself.

For example, if someone would tell me that my very curly hair looked amazing, my response would typically be something like, “Oh, I think it looks frizzy.”

Why couldn’t I just say thank you and accept it as the truth?

Because what I had in my head as truth wasn’t really the truth. My truth was not actually how other people saw me, and it wasn’t how other people felt about me.

Still, I held onto it, and I believed it, and I couldn’t see beyond my flaws to what the actual truth was.

Sadly, at some point in our lives, the majority of us have struggled to see the truth of who we really are.

We have all focused on believing things that aren’t actually true.

So here’s my challenge to you.

I challenge you to look in the mirror and make an honest effort to look beyond the flaws and see the good that has been there all along.

Choose to see yourself as others see you.

Take the compliment. Accept the compliment. Say thank you for the compliment. And believe it as the truth.

I invite you to look beyond what you think the truth is and see how amazing you really are.

Stop bringing yourself down and step into your power instead.

Above all, I challenge you to love the woman in the mirror.

Because when you do, that truth will truly set you free.