No matter what season we are in, our ability to navigate change is a valuable skill set.

It seems that the older I get, the more I see that change is important—even though it’s hard sometimes.

Change is Happening All Around Us

We have a lot going on in our household right now.

Olivia is leaving for a cross-country road trip. Then she is going straight from there to move into her apartment in Nashville for law school.

Jacob is engaged and getting married next year.

Emma is applying to different academic programs in the UK.

Noah is going to be a senior this year while also finishing his first year of college.

And Mili is going to be a junior in high school.

That is a whole lot of change happening at our house.

And we are trying to navigate all of it with courage and grace.

I still remember when Jacob went off to college. I remember how sad I was. It was such a feeling of loss.

I really thought our relationship would change drastically because we wouldn’t be seeing each other all the time.

But what I’ve learned over time (and with each child leaving) is that our relationship does change—but it gets even better.

And even though it still hurts a little when they grow up and move away, I get less sad now, because I know what’s on the other side.

Have the Courage to Face Your Fears

Too many times, we allow our fears to prevent us from embracing change.

We’re so worried about the negative things that could happen that we fail to see all the great things that are already happening.

I was so afraid for my children to leave home. But once I had the courage to face that fear, I came out the other side with greater hope and admiration for them.

I have watched my kids grow in ways that would have never been possible if they hadn’t gone away for school.

They have become really great humans who are doing really good things in the world.

If I had let my fears of them leaving hold them back, I would have missed the people they have become.

Believe it or not, there are so many good things that come when your children grow up and leave home.

What I love most about my kids being away from home is that it’s so fun when we are all back together again. We have so much to talk about.

And when they come home, they’re fully present because all of their friends have moved away. So, we get to hang out a lot.

These moments are precious and so full of joy.

It was silly of me to think that we would never see them again. We see them all the time.

And the time we have together produces some of the best moments life has to offer.

Give Yourself Permission to Feel

Change isn’t easy. Even though we’ve been here before with kids leaving, there are still moments of sadness.

Of course, there is going to be sadness. After all, we have put all our energy into raising these amazing humans…and then they leave.

Even though it’s a natural part of life, we have to understand that there is going to be some sadness there. Tell yourself that it’s okay.

If you’re struggling with some big emotions as you navigate change, that’s perfectly okay. Accept your fears and give yourself time and space as you move through those challenging emotions.

Acknowledge why you’re upset or afraid. These are very valid emotions. This is especially true when big changes come that fundamentally change the dynamics of your home and relationships.

Whatever feelings you have—they’re valid.

Give yourself permission to feel those emotions.

It’s okay to be sad when your kids move away to college. Allow yourself to feel all the feelings.

If you don’t allow yourself time to grieve, those feelings will eat at you until you finally address them.

Give yourself permission to feel the good, the bad, and the ugly. You will be so glad you did.

Take Action to Move Yourself Forward

Once we have acknowledged our fears and allowed ourselves to feel, we need to take action.

If we sit and wallow in our sorrow, nothing is going to get better. This applies to change across the board.

While it’s important to allow ourselves time to feel sadness, anger, or any other negative emotion, it’s equally important that we put a time limit on it.

This is how we can navigate change successfully.

Whatever negative feeling you are feeling, choose how long you’re going to allow yourself to live in that space. And then take action to help you get yourself out of it.

Maybe you tell yourself you will be sad for a week, and then you’ll move on.

Or maybe you give yourself a couple of days to be angry about something, and then you let it go.

Pick an end date, and then take action to move forward.

When I say take action, I simply mean to take the first step to doing something that will move you forward.

For example, if you’re afraid your child is going off to college and you’ll never see them again, talk to them about it and then book their flight home for Thanksgiving.

Do something simple that will help you move past your fears and give you something to look forward to.

By doing this, it helps you to appreciate things more and also helps others understand what you’re going through.

When Change Comes, Show Yourself Grace

As parents, we have the idea in our head that when our kids leave home, that’s going to be the end of it.

But in reality, those are ridiculous ideas.

When those thoughts start to come, think about all the connections that you can have with your children as they grow older.

Then go do something nice for yourself.

Our kids leaving home is evidence that we have worked hard to get them to where they are. And that’s something to celebrate!

We’re so programmed to do things for other people. So take this time as an opportunity to do something just for you.

Self-care is a great way to show yourself grace and help yourself get back to that positive frame of mind.

Change is inevitable. Don’t fear it—embrace it.

Acknowledge what you’re going through then take the action you need to help yourself move forward.

No matter the change, I promise there are still so many good days ahead.