We often think confidence is something we’re born with or something that magically appears once we’ve achieved enough. But real confidence isn’t built by waiting until we feel ready—it’s built by doing. By taking small, intentional steps that show us what we’re capable of.
When we take action, we start proving to ourselves that we can handle whatever comes next. That’s where the growth happens. So if you’re ready to start building genuine confidence today, here are five simple things you can do right now.
1. Keep the Promise You Made to Yourself
We’re great at keeping promises to everyone else—our families, our coworkers, our kids. But when it comes to the ones we make to ourselves, we often let those slide. The problem is, every time we break a promise to ourselves, we chip away at our self-trust. And confidence is built on self-trust.
So start small. Pick one promise today that’s just for you. Maybe it’s going for a walk after work. Drinking more water. Writing the first paragraph of that book idea that’s been sitting in your notes app. Whatever it is, do it—because you said you would.
You’ll notice that honoring even the smallest commitments creates a ripple effect. You’ll start to feel more grounded, more capable, and more in control of your choices. This is what I call Respecting Your Reflection, the first pillar of the REAL Method. It’s not about perfection. It’s about showing up for yourself the same way you show up for everyone else.
2. Reframe One Failure as Feedback
Confidence isn’t about never failing. It’s about knowing that failure doesn’t define you—it teaches you. Every misstep carries a lesson if you’re willing to look for it.
Think back to something that didn’t go as planned, maybe you stumbled in a conversation, missed an opportunity, or said yes when you should have said no. Instead of replaying what went wrong, ask yourself, What did this show me? Maybe it revealed a boundary you need to set. Maybe it clarified what you actually want.
This is where you Embrace Your Failures, the second pillar of the REAL Method. Failure is a mirror that reflects your growth edges. When you reframe it, you shift from shame to insight—and that’s where true confidence starts to build.
3. Ask Yourself What You Really Want (Not What You “Should” Want)
If I could give every woman one exercise to build confidence, it would be this: get clear on what you actually want. Not what your boss expects, not what your family hopes for. Not what looks impressive on paper.
Ask yourself: What do I want for my life, my relationships, my work, my joy?
Then sit with whatever comes up. Sometimes clarity feels uncomfortable because it asks us to stop performing and start choosing.
This is the “A” in the REAL Method—Ask Yourself What You Want. The more honest you are with yourself, the more aligned your actions become. And aligned actions are confidence multipliers. Because when you know what you want, you stop apologizing for going after it.
Start small. Write down three things that would make your week feel meaningful. Maybe it’s connection, rest, creativity. Then schedule time for them. Confidence grows when your choices reflect your truth.
4. Take the Smallest Possible Step Toward a Scary Goal
You don’t need to climb a mountain—literal or metaphorical—to prove you’re brave. You just need to take one small step toward the thing that scares you. Action doesn’t have to be dramatic to be powerful.
When I was preparing for my first TEDx Talk, I wasn’t sure if I could memorize the entire talk or keep my nerves in check once I stepped on stage. So instead of focusing on the full 15 minutes, I practiced one sentence at a time. One story. One breath. Those small actions built momentum, and that momentum built confidence.
When you prepare, you feel more confident because you’re not leaving things to chance. Preparation is action—it’s how you turn uncertainty into readiness.
What’s one thing you’ve been avoiding because it feels too big? Send the email. Sign up for the class. Ask for the feedback. Confidence is not the absence of fear—it’s the decision to move forward with it.
This is the “L” in the REAL Method—Live Without Limits. It’s about stretching your comfort zone just enough that your future self thanks you for starting today.
5. Practice Mirror Moments Every Morning
Before you rush into the day, take one minute—just one—to look in the mirror and say something kind to yourself. It sounds simple, maybe even silly, but it’s powerful.
Most of us start our mornings listing everything we need to fix: the wrinkles, the to-dos, the messes. But when you start your day with compassion instead of criticism, you set the tone for confidence. You remind yourself that you are worthy of respect, before the world gives you a single reason to believe it.
Try this: each morning, look yourself in the eyes and say, I’m proud of you for showing up. It doesn’t matter if you believe it yet. Keep saying it. Confidence grows in the repetition.
Mirror Moments are tiny, private acts of self-respect that build inner stability. Over time, they become your quiet armor against self-doubt.
Confidence Is Built, Not Found
Here’s the truth most people miss: confidence isn’t something you stumble upon when life finally gets easier. It’s something you build in the middle of the chaos. In the small choices, the moments of follow-through, the conversations that make your heart race.
Confidence grows when you act. When you keep showing up, even imperfectly. When you stop waiting for permission and start trusting your own voice.
So today, pick one of these five actions and do it. Keep that promise to yourself. Reframe that failure. Ask what you really want. Take the next tiny step. Look in the mirror with kindness. You don’t have to do them all. You just have to start.
Because confidence doesn’t come from thinking about it—it comes from living it.
Keep Building Your Confidence With the REAL Confidence Toolkit
If you’re ready to take these ideas a little deeper, I’d love to offer you a free 30-minute confidence call. This is a chance to talk one-on-one about where you’re feeling stuck and what small steps can help you start moving forward with more clarity and confidence.
You’ll leave the call with one simple, actionable takeaway you can start using right away to build momentum.
It’s real, personal, and designed to meet you where you are—because confidence grows through connection, not perfection.
👉 Schedule your free 30-minute call here and take your next step today.
